Thoughts for the Day

Yesterday was a decent day... but it became a long day, by the time I got to bed. I'm tired.

So, I decided that the word for yesterday was... OFFENSE. And I don't mean that I like that word or want yesterday's word to be offense. I really hope that today's word will be FORGIVENESS or PEACE. Something like that. But I just felt that yesterday must be awarded the word: offense.

Of course, there is more than one definition for the word, 1) "a breach of a law or rule; an illegal act." My college boy had to go to court yesterday to deal with some traffic violations [shaking head]. (Say a prayer for that situation. The saga continues, but he is finally home from college with an amazing new car--2009 Lancer Mitsubishi. Suhweet ride)!!

Another definition is 2) "the action of attacking" like in sports, which didn't happen yesterday for my daughter's softball team. Well, they were offended by the other team--LOL. They were mercy-ed and I'm glad I wasn't there to be tortured through the game.

In this post, I'm going with definition 3) "annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principals." 

[From here on I will be using the latter definition when I refer to an offense--emphasis on PERCEIVED INSULT].

I firmly believe that one should never take on another's personal offense. I began practicing this principal sometime between high school and college. Somehow, I just knew that when I got offended or when another person had taken offense to something, many times it was a misunderstanding or miscommunication that could probably get worked out if the two parties were willing to try. But once the  bad mouthing started, and other people got drawn into the offense, that's when "sides" were created and everything became blown way out of proportion. Yes, it is true that there are always two sides to a story, but that doesn't mean the "sides" have to consist of anyone outside of the offense. But most people who get sucked into the drama from the outside, only listen to the one side, believe it fully, and then proceed to help build more tension and drama over the situation. Perception becomes truth! and thus, a mountain is made out of the mole hill. BAD! DISLIKE!

I can tell you that I have failed many times when I've been the offended party, by trying to get others to understand my side when I was offended, thus drawing people to my perspective, repeating the offense to others rather than going to the person myself to work it out. I still sometimes have the tendency to do that, based on this child that remains in me, always begging to be understood. But I have become more skilled over the years at listening to someone else's offense, lending my support or empathy, but not taking the offense on as my own. I can usually remain mostly objective, rather than joining in with the anger and resentment and demonizing of someone else. However, throw my kids into the picture and it becomes much more challenging to remain objective.

I do constantly talk to my kids about this very issue and do my best to teach them these principals, which I believe are worthy and valuable to practice. They don't like how I sometimes appear to be taking "the teacher's side" or pointing out an error in judgment regarding a friend or a particular happening. But my hope is that my consistency and example will ring true in their hearts. I think does mostly.

Scenario #1 Yesterday, my son told me he was angry about something that happened last week when he was at work, and he had every right to be offended with this authority figure in his life (not a family member, not his boss). I immediately found myself steamed about this situation. I wanted to go to the person, as my son's advocate, and set him straight. I wanted to make a list of failures I've perceived this person to solidly have under his belt, and just lay into him. I was mad. I was feisty. But then the whisper came in my ear--loud and clear. FORGIVE! Agh!!! Seriously??? Yup. Seriously. I was reminded that its not my offense to take. First, my son is 18 years old. Second, there are two sides to the story (and that, I KNOW, is true). And third, Mama bear needs to let her cubs grow up and stand on their own two feet. This is hard. Once again I have to take the position of reminding my cubs about errors they have under their belts, errors that sometimes help to create these offensive situations later on. I don't believe its healthy to encourage my kids to hold onto grudges, or to feed their anger i.e. taking on their fight by helping demonizing another individual, when they need to learn how to handle situations with a cool head and with respect to alternate perceptions... and how to handle people who hold on to grudges.

Scenario #2 A friend stopped by yesterday, and as we chatted, a topic came up about this very thing: offense. I think it was a good discussion. I may have stepped over the line, when I began recounting "my side" of a situation that happened quite some time ago. But, I realize that there are people along my journey who have walked away from me, feeling seriously hurt and offended. Some of those people will point at me today and say, "Watch out for her. She seems nice, but she's dangerous." It's so weird, because I don't perceive myself that way whatsoever. Dangerous?! And yet, knowing how people totally swear by their perceived insults and misconceptions, I get it. I do. I GET IT!! I hate that anyone would feel this way about me, but we all have the ability to hurt others, and I wouldn't exactly call my temperament and personality "gentle." LOL. I am honest! And direct. Indirect people definitely get offended by my communication style and they usually won't tell me directly, but they will tell other people.

Scenario #3 Last one of the day... I dealt a situation last night that was based on a "minor" offense between two people that had turned into a MONSTER involving handfuls of people, in only a few short daze. Oh dear, Lord. Teenage drama is some of the most ridiculous drama. But we all have to endure it at one point or another. It wasn't my offense, and I didn't feel the need to step in, but I did see an opportunity to have a thoughtful discussion with those under my care. My hope is that the discussion helped adjust some perceptions and steer certain cubs in the right direction--towards resolution. Sure Mama Bear wants to rise up and ROAR at the stupidity... but I think that 16 year olds should learn how to resolve their social issues, with mutual respect, and without roaring. How about: let's not create a mountain and of this ant hill... is that even possible?

I could go on and on about this. Some people get it earlier than others.

Can today's word be FORGIVENESS, pleeeeeeeeease?!!!!

Balderdash

I got a kick out of this blog which listed several words that have disappeared from the modern English language, but may need to be rescued. YOU may be able to revive one of these words. Pick one and make use of it today. I think I will use Brabble.

Ever played Balderdash? I love playing that game with my brother, David, and my pops. Their false definitions make me Kench... or laugh out loud aka LOL.

I think it may be time to get that game back out again. It's not the best game for a Hoddypeak, however. (simpleton, noodle, blockhead).

Quotes

Foresight

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corporation, 1977

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, in 1943

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible."
- A Yale University management professor, in response to student Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express)

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates (1955-), in 1981

"This antitrust thing will blow over."
- Bill Gates (1955-), on July 11, 1995

"We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
- Harry Morris Warner (1881-1958), co-founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927

Politics

"I don't know the key to success but I know the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
- Bill Cosby (1937-).

"We ought to be more focused on enemies without than preoccupied with finding them within."
- Alan Wolfe (1942-)

"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government."
- Edward Abbey (1927-1989)

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
- Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"I would have made a good Pope."
- Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)

"I like to play poker with politicians. They’re easy to beat. Sometimes in poker it’s smarter to lose with a winning hand so that you can win later with a losing hand. Politicians can’t accept that."
- Havana (1990)

"The worst part about politics is that you're always right and no one ever knows it."
- Unknown

Proverbs

"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)

"Hunger is the best sauce."
- Proverb

"Better to light a candle than curse the darkness."
- Chinese Proverb

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."
- Proverb

"A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood."
- George S. Patton (1885-1945), US Army General

"Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
- Proverb

"99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name."
- Unknown

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die."
- Klingon Proverb, Star Trek

"The greatest strength is gentleness."
- Iroquois Proverb

"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig."
- Proverb

"If you lose your temper, you’ve lost the argument."
- Proverb

Quotes from The Witty, The Though-Provoking, and The Humorous

August

Defintion of August from http://www.dictionary.com/
–adjective
1. inspiring reverence or admiration; of supreme dignity or grandeur; majestic
...and of course, its the sixth month of the year... yada yada... but I choose the first definition.

It's usually around now that I finally stop to notice the beauty around me. Its August and its an amazing place where I live. The ocean and beaches are gorgeous and the sunsets, lately... even now. WOW! Eight o'clock is such a delightful color of orange and pink. It just reflects on everything. It makes me happy.


Last night, it was a bit hot and muggy in the house (any window air conditioners we have around here have remained in their boxes because we haven't needed them). I realized that BJ was outside taking a night swim in the pool IN THE DARK!! I wondered if he was wearing a swim suit--haha. (Skinny dipping after 10 pm). Nah... he was decent. So, I took up my spot on the lounge chair while he floated around, and we just enjoyed the cool night air... and the stars... and the small private planes flying overhead on the way to the airport [NOT]. (They are a bit loud). Anyway, we had a very nice time just catching up. That's August.


I've started walking again!! The weather is perfect for it. I'm unhappy with my "situation" in the muffintop department, so its time to do something about it. I can fit a 6-10 mile walk in fairly well, around 5:00 pm and nothing much is upset on the homefront. I even coached Anika in making eggplant parmesian for dinner tonight. It was delish!!


Luke leaves for college in a week from Wednesday. I still need to take him to the dentist and the regular doctor for his medical reports for college and what not. AYI! It's difficult to squeeze it all in, especially because he's inspired to go directly to the beach once his work day is complete. I figure, it will all work out. I hope!

I love August!

LAMENTATIONS...

I became the laughing stock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long.

He has filled me with bitter herbs and sated me with gall [whatever that means].

He has broken my teeth with gravel [is that where Caleigh got the idea from?]; he has trampled me in the dust.

I have been depived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is.

So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord."

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

The Lord is good to those who's hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.

Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him.

Let him bury his face in the dust--there may yet be hope.

Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace.

For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.

For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men....

Why should any living man complain when punished for his sins?

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

***************
This comforts me! Lamentations 3:14-33, 39-40

Word Power--November

Baneful
adjective--Having poisonous qualities; deadly; destructive; injurious; noxious; pernicious.

(I wouldn't carry around one of these frogs in my back pocket)

Synonyms: baleful, calamitous, deadly, deleterious, destructive, disastrous, evil, fatal, harmful, hurtful, malefic, noxious, pernicious, pestilent, pestilential, poisonous, venomous, wicked

Antonyms: advantageous, beneficial, beneficient, fortunate, helpful, lucky


Have you ever come across a baneful person? I have.

It's a sad, and pathetic individual who walks around with noxious and harmful ideas of ways to infect others, but I have known people who are like this. I even have at least one or two baneful people who read my blog. [Hi... If you're still reading my blog, keep a safe distance please. And remember that your destructive ways will come back upon you with misfortune--that's not a curse just a simple law of sowing a reaping].

I am fortunate! I consider myself blessed to have a naturally upbeat personality. I try to enjoy all of life and I look for the good and the positive in as much of it as I can. Yes, I do get upset about things. Frustration hits me like a hammer some times. And it's not that I refrain from ever complaining, but I like to consider how things can change for the better. Hope and faith are never far behind a passing wind of disappointment or dispair. I can thank my mom for developing an optimistic characteristic in me. She is sometimes better known as Pollyanna [so thumbs up to my mom]. She's always had a "brighter side to look at" and that's how I was raised.

Some people were raised very differently and I can understand that optimism may not come easily for others. It can be learned, however, and can become a personal discipline that is helpful, especially to those who struggle with depression... am I right? But to be EVIL... and have mal intent for others... those people are obviously in complete bondage to fear and hatrid.

Can you imagine being in a work environment with someone like that--especially when they cover their misdeeds with a smile and a cheery voice? SHEER EVILNESS! The thought of it sickens me and I've seen it in action... within this past year.

I don't know the exact reason I'm posting this, but it's been on my mind recently... so... there you have it. There it is.

Do we have any Debbie Downers out there? Anyone who needs help in becoming a more positive thinker? (That's not to say you are baneful! Being baneful is a whole different category than being negative).

Opposition

op·po·si·tion /op-uh-zish-uhn/

–noun
1. the action of opposing, resisting, or combating.
It would be very much like the way the two boyz have been acting on the homefront i.e. coming home after curfew, acting like they're going to bed, then sneaking out for further activities with friends, and when they're caught and grounded and have to pay the penalty, sneaking out some more and then getting caught again, which results in having phones and computers taken away, which in turn, results in more sneaking out and even staying out all night. Opposition to authority aka REBELLION!

2. antagonism or hostility.
This would be very much the way the friends of the boyz are operating towards us... gathering together at Bad Neighbor boy's house next door, smoking weed in the driveway, playing loud music with nasty lyrics at high decibals and sneering/laughing at us all the while... oh and harboring our boys when they've gone missing from their beds, and lying straight up about not knowing where they are. Oh, and leaving all their garbage along the roadside in front of our house and Bad Neighbor Boy's house aka complete disrespect!

3. a person or group of people opposing, criticizing, or protesting something, someone, or another group.
An example of this would be how these same kids are acting at school about rules and regulations. It would also be how they acted at a party a few weeks ago when I came around. It was suppose to be chaparoned, but for some odd reason, no adults were truly allowed anywhere near the party while they were grinding, dirty dancing and touching each other in the no-no places. I guess you could say that I'm also a person in opposition of something, someone or another group, esp. regarding this whole episode.

4. the major political party opposed to the party in power and seeking to replace it.
This is obvious regarding our national campaign and the media, but I'm wondering if this correlates with the PTO as well??? hmmm.

5. the act of opposing, or the state of being opposed by way of comparison or contrast.
I may be able to stretch this definition a little and say what I mean about the PTO. It's different from last year in that the president (God bless her dear soul) moved on to the blasted school board--by way of election, of course--and we've since had a reorganization of leadership roles. There have also been some new people who have come on board... with maybe a slightly different MO (mode of operation). It sometimes feels like the apple cart's been overturned. I know I'm ultra sensitive to it right now, but I definitely pick up on the slight bit of opposition between a few of the rookies (maybe just one) and veterans. It's not pretty! And with all the other opposition I've been personally facing, I really don't care to deal with this bunch of crap!

I think I'll quit!!! I'll quit the PTO AND quit parenting. Ok. Maybe I won't QUIT, but I could bring a white flag of surrender to the PTO meeting tomorrow night. I'll just go ahead and offer myself to those who want blood... or maybe they'd like to burn me at the stake. I can't for the life of me understand why! But I'll tell them to go ahead, because I'd rather be put out of my misery anyway.

The Cell Phone Message (repost)

I can't think of anything good to post lately. So I'm reposting a random one from back in October. I thought it was funny. Maybe this is where my "problems" began. Great thanks to my girlfriends who have tainted me! har har har

I woke up in a panic last night. It was the weirdest thing, but it may have something to do with this little secret game that me and some of my friends came up with while we were in NYC. We truly are not the swearing type, and we are VERY upstanding individuals, but we thought we would create a little "mischief" by using one particular swear word--the really bad one--to surprise each other throughout the weekend. We choose the F-bomb!! *gasp* Why did we do it? I don't know. Maybe because someone was suppose to get a free dinner if they could be really brave. No one actually won the dinner did they?? But it was hilarious--to us anyway.

People all around us we're using the F-bomb quite readily. The thing that really cracked me up was the United Brigade Theater. In their improv skits it just so happened that they used the F-bomb as their favorite word... and I'm almost sure they were using it just to play along with our game. They were always saying, "What the F***?" It's a very popular phrase right now. And I thought it was funny, based on our little inside joke. I'm so immature.

So, last night I was sleeping quite beautifully when I found myself waking from a disturbing dream. I was sitting in a waiting room somewhere, together with Sohailah and my mom and a few other people. I just happened to mention something about Terry and I considering adopting a child (which was ONLY in the dream btw) when my cell phone rang. I saw a name come up as some Simon Law Firm or whatever, so I didn't answer it and I didn't know why I was getting that call. But right away I check my voice mail and it was some lawyer calling about helping us with an adoption. The lawyer's message said, "I'm not sure if I'm SUPPOSED to leave a message or NOT supposed to. Um..." It was so weird that I pressed on my speaker phone for everyone to witness the quirkiness of it all, when my own outgoing voice message came on. It went like this:

Hi. This is Karen. I can't get your call right now... so leave a F***ing
message. Or DON'T leave a F***ing message. I don't care. Bye.

I couldn't turn off the message quick enough. I was totally embarrassed. Why did I leave such a recording like that on my cell phone? What was I thinking? I must have thought I was so funny at the time.

I woke up in totally anxiety with the cold sweats--hahah--and could not get back to sleep for a while. Did I really leave that message on my phone?? Was I in such a sophomoric mindset that I really thought I could do that??? Let's see... I faintly remember something... no... did I? Huh. I haven't received any message lately. Hmmm... Should I get up and check? No. No. I finally convinced myself that OF COURSE I DIDN'T LEAVE THAT MESSAGE!! (but I still wasn't totally sure). Finally, I fell back to sleep but I got up and checked it right away this morning. I was right. It was a normal boring message. No fancy, colorful words thrown in. Phew! Of course, this morning, in my right mind I knew that I would NEVER leave a message like that on my cell phone. Sheesh!

My brain is playing funny tricks on me.

Word Power

virago \vuh-RAH-go; vuh-RAY-go\, noun:

1. A woman of extraordinary stature, strength, and courage.
2. A woman regarded as loud, scolding, ill-tempered, quarrelsome, or overbearing.

I totally get this one!

Monkey House and Den of Snakes

photo by David Smeaton

politician n.
1. A person who practices politics."Politics" is derived from the words "poly" meaning "many", and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking parasites."

2. One who has perfected the art of lying.

3. A highly paid yes-man.

politics
The cage which houses monkeys and snakes.

church on the move

When it's time to go,you yell "Church on the move"-- everyone you're with knows to leave the location.

Snoop Dogg-- when you're at the club and its time to bounce you yell "Church on the move" and everyone knows its time to get up outta there!

reality distortion field

n.
An expression used to describe the persuasive ability of managers like Steve Jobs (the term originated at Apple Computer in the 1980's to describe his peculiar charisma). Those close to these managers become passionately committed to possibly insane projects, without regard to the practicality of their implementation or competitive forces in the marketpace.

"A reality distortion field. In Steve's presence, reality is malleable. He can convince anyone of practically anything. It wears off when he's not around, but it makes it hard to have realistic schedules."

I hate politics! I'm probably going to have to get used to them and learn my way around the monkeys and snakes... but, honestly I'd rather go to a warmer climate and lay in a hammock on the beach, drinking mimosas while being fanned by my children. Instead, where do I end up? Right smack in the middle of the monkey cage. That's how I feel anyway. It never fails. I can't keep myself out of the "action" somehow.

The problem with me is that I'm a swimmer! I don't like to just get my feet wet. If I'm going get my feet wet, then I'm probably going in all the way. But then, what happens when I'm under water enjoying the swim, it that someone calls out "church on the move" and suddenly, everyone picks up and leaves. Unbeknownst to me, I'm left still swimming in the pool, where there was never supposed to even be a party.

I'm the type of person who is whole-hearted and a "go-getter". I give my all to the things that I feel I can support. In the past, I've been pursuaded by another person's "reality distortion field" and have actually driven myself into the ground with unrealitistic dreams. I'm a believer. I'm a supporter. I'm an optimist, but I don't want to be caught up in some "reality distortion field" ever again. So, I try to be careful; to objectify and think for myself rather than allow someone else to think for me. Have you ever noticed how people tend to hold you at an arms distance if you don't think exactly the same way as they do? If you have a different opinion about something, suddenly you can't be trusted! That pisses me off, but it's just the way things go. But I am forthright, most of the time. I'm not a politician at all. You can pretty much know what my opinions are if you just take a minute to listen. I don't try to paint what I want you to see, I just paint what I see. How naive, you say. How innocent. How un-wordly. HAHA! HOW STUPID!!

The tricky part with politicians is... they leave out a lot of important information in order to paint the picture they want people to see and believe. They would never call that lying. Never in a millions years. It's politics. "It depends on what the word 'is' is."

What do you think about politics? I refer back to the definition above!! which comes to you directly from http://www.urbandictionary.com/ .

It's the cage which houses monkeys and snakes.

You Keep on Using That Word

I do not think it means what you think it means! [line from the infamous movie, PRINCESS BRIDE]

Throughout the years I have been using this word to describe my kids when they are doing something on the crazy side, or when they are being ridiculous, or funny. So, when I got the phone call from the school nurse yesterday about Caleigh (almost 6)... the report was that while she was on the playground at recess she was eating rocks as a method of getting her loose tooth to come out. Total weirdness creativity! (Btw, she said she wasn't swallowing them! I just don't understand why the teacher sent her to the nurse--the psycologist, I would understand).

Anyway, every time it crosses my mind, I think, "That girl is such a pip!" So I decided to look the word up to make sure it didn't have some awful meaning. Does anyone else ever do that?

PIP
~noun
1. a disease of poultry
2. a minor nonspecific ailment
3. a small hard seed found in some fruits
4. a mark on a die or on a playing card (shape depending on the suit) [syn: spot]
5. a radar echo displayed so as to show the position of a reflecting surface [syn: blip]

~verb
1. kill by firing a missile [syn: shoot]
2. hit with a missile from a weapon [syn: shoot]
3. defeat thoroughly; "He mopped up the floor with his opponents" [syn: worst]
WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.

Also called pipperoo. Informal. someone or something wonderful: Last night's party was a pip.
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

I suppose I've been using the shortened version of pipperoo to describe my kids. It works. They are more of a wonder then a blip on the radar, or some diseased poultry. I think I'll continue using my age-old expression. I'm not sure where it came from, but I can remember picking it up when I was just a wee bit. Maybe someone called me a pip and I assumed that it meant: someone or something wonderful!

Wear Sunscreen...

I could watch this over and over and over. I don't know why I like it so much, but if you have about 7 minutes, take a look.

Word for the Day

termagant \TUR-muh-guhnt\
noun:
1. A scolding, nagging, bad-tempered woman; a shrew.

adjective:
1. Overbearing; shrewish; scolding.

I was wondering what my deal was. After having a few fits of frustration at an early hour, that's when I saw the "word for the day" (over on dictionary.com). Ah-HA! That explains it. I'm a termagant person! Just this morning I prodded, and then scolded Nate, trying to get him on to the busstop so he could be on time... for ISS (IN SCHOOL SUSPENSION). When he missed the bus, for all his putzing along, I commenced with the further scolding and prodded him to pick up the pace because now he would be skateboarding his way to school. As nothing seemed to help him change gears, that's when I yelled--FORCEFULLY!! Once he finally stormed out the door, I felt like throwing things after him--but refrained. I sneered at the air. Swore in my head. Tried to calm myself. Blaaahhh!

So, between helping Caleigh get ready for school and have her breakfast, I checked my email. Blast it all--more crap to do! Nothing delightful to read.

After Caleigh was on the bus, I received an phone call from the school--uh oh! What now??? Oh--of course! I'm being asked to volunteer even MORE of my time. "Just say no, Karen! Just say NO!" you all say. SHUT UP! I said yes, ok?!! My strategy is to continue accumulating brownie points at school, so that my kids' bad behavior won't ruin my personal reputation as an AMAZING PARENT! And don't you dare tell them that I'm a termagant woman. (Is it redundant to put those two words together?)

After the phone call, I decided to write a post on my other blog and had continuous trouble with my pop-up blocker, which was severly challenging my mood all the more.

Termagant! Why is this word defined in reference to a WOMAN anyway??? That really pisses me off. Oh well, if the shoe fits I may just wear it.