Blogging and Lent

Blogging was more fun when it was interactive, when we had this very interesting and supportive community of bloggers, mutually sharing our ups and downs of life on an almost-daily basis. Sure, we were a little obsessed, checking 20 times a day to see if there was a new post on someone's blog or an added comment. At one time, we had to actually had to go to the actual blog site to find out. Now "they've" made it too easy!! We don't have to labor at all to know if someone put up a new post i.e. RSS and "following" a blog. And if we don't feel like commenting, its fine, because that camaraderie (mutual trust and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together) we once had, has more or less faded. I miss it, but it seems to be the way life goes.

In my experience, it also goes this way with the face-to-face friends. Seasons change. Close friends get busy and lose touch. Sometimes they come back. I fade in and out, probably more out of self-preservation than busyness. Its so easy to fade away in this world and have no one really notice, as long as we stay quiet about it. I've often wondered if fear is what keeps us all from allowing our friendships to become more meaningful and vulnerable. Often times I wonder and believe that "Once someone knows the deeper parts of me they hightail it on out of my circle or they find me less tolerable." (its the committee that condemns me, the old mental recordings that linger in waiting).

During Lent I've been focusing on the Love of Christ (reading 1 John).

"The love of God was made manifest among us."

When I was younger I look back and remember those mountain tops and valleys I experienced. I feel like I understood God's love so much more then, and allowed Him to love through me way more effectively. I was utterly abandoned and unreserved in my faith. It took some fairly rough roads and a severe spiritual beating--basically being left for dead in the desert--to knock me off that course for the past several years. But I'm returning... to His healing love and saving grace... His living water.

"Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought to love one another... if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is made perfect in us."

So, regarding my self-preservation... its a major struggle. I don't want to fail my friends and I certainly don't want to be let down either, so I prefer to stay aloof. Its easier to hold back because I first want the reassurance that I will have some reciprocation if I allow the Spirit of Christ to love through me. Its selfish. Most of the time I'd rather not take the risk of loving wholeheartedly with complete abandon... but I'm reminded that its what Jesus did for me.

But alas, the fear comes. I have to admit, this is where I fell prey. This is where I was misguided. This is where I was hurt and where I hurt others the most. Can I overcome my fear?

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

I certainly have NOT been perfected in love, not yet. I don't even know what that means... but I want to. I do know that God's love is a powerful thing to experience and He has forever changed me. Its been a long journey, but maybe my desert is beginning to bloom.

Tracking with the Site Meter

Has anyone been impressed with the enormous amount of hits on my blog?? I mean seriously? Do YOU have over 25,000 hits? Huh? Do ya? DO YA??? Well... it's just a big illusion people. Don't get all excited. I was looking at my sight meter (out of pure boredom) and saw from the list of entry links to Kool Daze, some very sobering numbers. Not that it matters, but if you were curious...

In the past 24 hours, approximately

40 --regulars came out to see what was going on over here. Greetings! What. No, hello?? Come on! Live a little. Leave a comment. Ok. So, some of the 40 regulars are admittedly blog addicts and repeat their visits 3-4 times daily. No judgement here. I've been known to do it myself. But that means that I really only have about 10-15 regulars. BIG WHUP!

17 --randomly googled one of my images and probably STOLE it--but never took a second look at my blog. I know because I do it all the time, too. Thus the Question Mark image. Google searches.

12 --all came searching out about the letter "K". They may have read that post, or not. Google search.

5 --liked the image for my 300th post.... took the image... never read a word, I'm quite certain. Google search.

4 --were intrigued by my self-portrait photography contest. Probably are in some kind of photography class and were doing a bit of research. Got a good laugh from the pictures. Won't ever return. Google search.

4 --were interested in finding some good saying for 2008. Found nothing they could use. Won't return. Google search.

5 --have an interest in dreams and interpretations of dreams. Didn't discover anything of value here. They are too intent on solving the world's problems through messages that come in dreams. They have to dig deep if they are going to find the answers here, at Kool Daze. Google search.

3 --are suffering from back pain i.e. spondylolysis and don't know about MD.com. Google search.
2 --seem to be in the market for a juicer and are probably trying to get healthy. Google search.

2 --shopping for a vacuum or need new parts for their Kirby. Google search.

2 --saw the image of the four extra large ladies and probably took the image and circulated it once again via email for the millionth time. Google search.

Ok. I really don't know if any of this is factual. I am only guessing and who knows if everyone is using google. HAHA. But I just wanted you to know how scary it is to blog publicly. Who knows who is reading and viewing my stuff?! If you come around regularly, but never comment, why don't you take a moment and tell all five of us who even read the comments, a little hello and where you're from. You can also mention how you'd solve the world's problems if you were in charge.

I just found out that my blog is very very bad and no one should be here reading it unless they are 17 and older. I expect to see some ID (preferably a credit card). This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

crack (10x) knife (5x) death (2x) dangerous (1x)

You can go ahead and have your blog rated as well. It's always good to inform your audience of the possible content they may be facing. That is why I've decided to let you know the status of Kool Daze. I think I'll put the NC-17 rating over in the sidebar (although I don't want to attract any nasty spammers. Could that happen?) Oh, I'll take my chances... for the benefit of all of you!

What a HUGE surprise!!!

I've been complaining about having headaches and eye strain lately. Even today I had a serious headache behind my eyes and it caused me to go shopping and buy a lot of things I probably shouldn't have!! Eye strain can be a tremendous hazard to the finances.

But Ginger heard my cry. She understood my pain and she took ACTION--bless her heart! She sent me these reading glasses, princess case and baseball stand which I received at the post office only an hour ago. I am filled with great JOY!!! I had to run home and post immediately.

Now, with my new glasses, I feel like I can go through my day without pain and strain from the computer or from my new addiction to Jodi Picoult novels---AND ALSO I now have all these new AMAZING looks!


The "Charmer"
or
"Wasn't me" look:
The "Blue Steel"
or
Don't mess wit me" look:

And my favorite, the "You talkin' to me?"
or
"Oh no you di'int" look:

Ginger, thank you thank you. You are amazing. Btw, I didn't get the pool yet! :-D

(HELP FOR MEN) Don't End Up in the Doghouse

A request has been made for more inspiring and life-changing "kool daze" insights and truths, which I offer together with the help of my husband aka Billy Joel and Uncle Mitch aka The Heretic (jk jk). This goes out to the multitude of male readers that visit my blog on a regular basis *smirk*. These truths will surely and effectively help you to remain far, far away from the cold, dank, cob-webbed doghouse where a family of chipmunks have now taken up residence.

*Sidenote: Terry never ever says any of the things I'm about to list, AND we never fight! And... he does read this blog, regardless of the fact that you will never see a comment typed by his own pretty fingers--forget about a "guest" post! This is as close as we're gonna get people!!

Things you should never say about her body appearance and/or apparel:

"Honey, have you been gaining weight?"
"Are you sure you want another helping?"
"Hey, that treadmill sure is lonely these days"
"Um, your wearing THAT?!!"
"You're hair could use a little maintenance," and if you are ever stupid enough to say this last line, DO NOT use the little finger-thingy quotes for the word 'maintenance.'

Things you should never say while arguing:

"You sound just like your mother!"
"Where'd you get that idea, from the Great Oprah?!"
"Hey wait... are you possibly pms-ing?"
"Can we pick this up later? The game is on now!"
[with a chuckle] "Sorry, I was just picturing you naked."

Things you should never say about housework:

"Soooo... what have YOU done all day?"
"When's the last time those stairs have been vacuumed, cuz the dust bunnies have come to visit?"
"Hey, that treadmill sure is collecting dust these days"
Yelling to her from the kitchen, "Honey, the dishwasher's done."

Things teenagers should never say to their mother:

"...well, you can't stop me anyway!"

And finally... don't ever say:

"Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded."

The Guilty Pleasures of Blogging

My husband knows me well. The other day I was complaining to him about feeling so stressed out--like ALL the time. The conversation went a little like this...

[fade to earlier scene... aaaaand ACTION]

Me: I feel so busy that I can't even think straight. Ahhh, I hate feeling this way. I've been trying to consider what I can scale down or cut out of my routine, but the only things I can reasonably cut out are the things that give me a personal outlet--a recharge. IT'S SO UNFAIR!!!!!

Terry: Like what things?

Me: Well, I'm stuck with the homeschooling thing until the end of the year. Nate needs a ride to work AND home everyday [*@%$^#*%$]. I have my PTO reponsibilities, which seem to be increasing on a daily basis--I'm such a sucker! The kids need their things taken care of... yada yada yada, so that only leaves MY THINGS: exercise class, practicing the piano, choral society, and... [duh duh duh duuuuuuuh] blogging!!!!

Terry: Oh NO no no. You can't eliminate blogging!

[And CUT!]

I don't know if he was serious or sarcastic, but I think he was serious. (People believe what they want to, right)? But really, it's like a blessing to a man, for his woman to get some of those 20,000 words out with others, before he comes on the scene and gets an overload of chatter, chatter, chatter. For some its more like 50,000....

Anyway, what is it about blogging? What makes us come back over and over again? Why do we feel guilty when we've spent so much time sitting at the computer that our back muscles are now cramping?

Well, I want to share some of the benefits I receive from blogging and then go to some comments I've already received about this issue.


Benefits for me:

• The Practice of Writing which has always been therapuetic for me. I get my daily therapy by blogging and its free.
• Companionship Interacting with others gives me some friendship-connection that, quite honestly, I don't have time for right here in my present location. (Everyone is so busy with their lives--probably blogging--haha)
• Laughs and Smiles I am totally humored and amazed with others' creativity and story-telling (which could easily become a lost art if it weren't for blogging)
• Keeping in Touch I was an avid letter writer in those early days of my life, then I was an avid emailer, but now I've moved onto blogging. I find that its much quicker and more informative to read a friends blog and they mine, than these other methods--I hate talking on the phone! The hours I have spent on the phone have been enough for a lifetime.
• Personal Space I'm not always feeling upbeat. I don't always have the energy to give to another needy friend, but in the blogging world it feels like a shared responsibility where I am not the only one that can have the right thing to say at the right time. We can all be there to encourage at different times, when we are able. We can all take some space when we are not able, and no one (almost no one anyway) will get personally offended if you don't say something for each and every situation. Some things are better left unsaid.
• Reading I enjoy reading, and won't give up reading books and magazines, but when I read my friends' blogs I feel like I'm connecting with real people, rather than going into my own world via a book. I love interacting and reading with others. That's just me!
• Recording Memories I feel like my posts are things I can go back to in the future to recall events and happenings that I may have never remembered later on in life.

So... here are some comments from readers of this blog:

I have some issues with the whole blogging thing. I check everyones blogs everyday (sometimes multiple times) but sometimes I don't have anything to say so I feel like a slacker. I wish there was a way for people to know that you are reading without posting. I hate commenting or posting when I feel I have nothing to say. ~kim

The way I look at this... if I have nothing to say, then its totally fine to just read and not comment. Someone else will most likely have something to say. If no one has anything to say, it probably wasn't the type of post that warranted any comments. Furthermore, if I read someone's blog daily and enjoy commenting when I have something to say, that person should basically know that I've visited and read... or will be visiting soon. There shouldn't be an expectations... I need to do things out of a place in me that is really the essence of who I am and not just the person that others expect me to be.

My hubby says I've developed a blog obsession but honestly I know more about you than some of my close friends--sad I know. ~michelle f.

I'm not sure that too many people are comfortable with being an open book. I've always been a bit of an open book--sometimes a little too much. I try not to be too unwise about it... but there is something about writing that gives me greater opportunity to express myself; to learn about who I really am. I can take the time I need, to communicate a thought or story, and not have to worry about the wrong words flying out of my mouth. I like having the option to edit.

My posts are too long--I need to learn how to condense and summarize. Oh well! (124 minutes).

The Rules for Commenting

Who makes these rules again? I DO!!! Or wait, YOU DO!!! Oh yea--we're doing this together. Many of you listed some "complaints" in the comment section of Who Makes the Rules while others--more safely--emailed me! Way to go people.

First, let us understand that there are all kinds of blogs out there in cyberland. Mine, and probably yours, falls into a category I would term: a personal blog. It's written for friends and family, so the comment etiquette will not be very strict--thank God. It's, you know, smart-casual... and yet, there are still rules in which we should all be aware.

Secondly, as your reader base increases, usually your commenter base increases as well. People you've never met may become your fast friend in the webworld. This is ok, just remember that even though your are excited about your new friends, you need to be careful you don't appear stalker-like. If you wonder whether you may sound crazy to your new blogger-friend, you probably do, and I would advise you to slow things down a little. Which leads to the third point...

You DO NOT NEED to comment on every single post you read! In fact, you shouldn't comment unless you have something of value to add. The comment section is meant to be a place for dialogue and discussion about the post. Maybe there is a portion of the post in which you wish to comment. It's always nice to copy and paste the few lines from the post and put them in your comment box followed by your thoughts--don't forget the appropriate quotes. You can also quote from a previous comment. It creates a more interesting thread.

IMPORTANT!!! IMPORTANT!!! IMPORTANT!!!

• If you do not have the time to actively read the entire post--DO NOT COMMENT!
• If you do not have the time to read the entire comment thread--DO NOT COMMENT!
• If your thoughts have already been stated by someone else--DO NOT RESTATE THEM!
• Be original (at least try). The more interesting your comments are, the more chances you have to attract new readers to your blog (that is, if you have one).

BTW, You don't have to have your own blog to be a regular reader or commenter. Some people don't allow anonymous comments--I do--but that is completely up to the blogger. Allowing anonymous comments enables people without blogs to comment (hint hint to my mom and dad). You can sign your name in the comment box. You have to "publish" your comment in order for it to post (another hint!).

Be sure your comments are respectful and kind, not argumentative and not too long. Argumentative comments are usually reserved for "public" or "political blogs" (although ours are quite public). A good rule of thumb: follow in the same attitude as the poster i.e. if the post is serious and thought-provoking, let your comments follow suit; if the post is sarcastic or humorous, go ahead and show some wit. PLEASE--if the blogger is being sarcastic and having fun being brash or venting, don't get all spiritual and serious, giving advice or sharing about a sermon you just heard (I got this complaint a lot). Not everyone takes themselves so seriously, but rather finds joy in the mockery *gasp*.

Here's one: If Bob comments on Judy's post, Judy should only respond to Bob's comment in that same comment threat (or privately). [And Yes, one should definitely comment along with the others in his/her own comment threads]. Judy SHOULD NOT respond to Bob's comment on Bob's blog, especially by RANDOMLY inserting a response having NOTHING to do with the post at hand. It's rude. Think of it this way--a conversation is going on in someone's living room with a small or large group of people. Not everyone knows you, nor do you know everyone, although you may know the home owner. When you enter the room, you should be respectful and aware of the conversation that's taking place and try not to steal the attention away by throwing some random off-topic comment into the mix. It's annoying. It's adolescent. It would be nice for you to add to the conversation at hand, or simply listen--or GO AWAY! hee

One more thing: If you are catching up on several past posts, do to your serious slacking, DO NOT COMMENT on the most recent post with something that has to do with a thread three posts earlier. It's simply bad manners.

Finally, don't feel bad if you have fallen short in any or all of these BOLD suggestions. I've gotten it wrong on every point, but I choose to live and learn. You can practice the art of commenting all you want right here. We'll be sure to let you know when you are screwing up. :-D

WHO MAKES THE RULES?

I've been asked to post some pointers on blogger comment etiquette HAHAHAH! Yea right--and scare all my commenters away!?!? That's like blogging suicide for a personal blogger such as myself. I totally enjoy all the comments my readers post!!! But, I thought it would be fun to make a request of you, my readers. Email me your blog comment pet peeves. You can even give examples to make it interesting, and in a week or so I will post a list of your complaints--anonymously, of course, so things don't get personal! If you do give a personal example I will treat it delicately--hahaha! OK--get ready... get set... VENT!

WHERE'S THE IMAGE TOOL?

For those who are wondering... blogger did some kind of maintenance the other day that caused some beta users to suddenly have no access to adding a picture to their post. I checked the "help" section and it said:

Some users are unable to upload images on the beta due to a fix made yesterday, 9/6. The solution for this particular problem is to clear your browser’s cache. (As a note, we appreciate your patience as we work through the hiccups and problems with image uploading in general.)

If you don't know how to clear your browser's cache, try doing a google search and follow the instructions. When I cleared my cache it fixed the image tool problem. Hope it all works out for you.

YOU MUST REFRESH!

I wonder how many people are stumped by blogger! I can remember when I first began posting... [fade to dream bubble]... I would finalize my post, publish it, republish my blog, view my blog and... NOTHING! It wouldn't show up [insert explicitives]! Then I would go back to rewrite the entire post only to find that it was there in my dashboard all the time [insert dumbfounded look and more explicitives]. Then it occured to me, being quite an experienced myspacer [insert lightbulb]...

Ahhhhh-HAAAAHHHH, one must REFRESH!!! (I won't bore you with the techical details as to why this happens, thank the good Lord. Just follow the simple directions). When I began to refresh, it solved my every problem (Ha Ha--yea right).

So, when you visit my blog (thank you) or another blogger who posts often, and you see nothing NEW posted... click on it! Click that refresh button. Voila!! New posts at your fingertips! The same thing goes for viewing the most recent comments.

Now if anyone out there knows of a BETTER solution---PLEASE TELL US!!! Because I hate the whole "refresh" ordeal!

AWWW MANNNN!!!

  This has happened just ONE too many times--another post... lost to cyberspace!!! DOH! And please don't tell me that I should be sure and copy the post first... just in case. When I blog from Picasa it won't allow me to copy the &%$#*&@# post... All I can do is press "send" and hope for the best. AGHGhghhhhh! So very frustrating. Well, let's just say I am done posting through Picasa!!! (And if anyone knows exactly what I'm talking about and has some helpful tips... by all means share).

And furthermore, I'm not about to rewrite my thoughts. They were too brilliant and intelligent to recall at this point of the night. Just know that they're out there somewhere... floating around in some coded computer language.

Maybe its better this way afterall... my genius thoughts may have ruffled some feathers and made a few readers a little angry. Or not. Oh WELL!!

Bring me back to the summer please!! I'm in need of a beach day.