Could You Just Be Louder, Please?!

OK. So I've been dealing with a lot of noise.

First, its the middle school kids. If you know anything about teaching vocal music to teenagers, you may know what I mean. They just cannot help themselves. I am teaching a large group of middle schoolers their music for Grease. I usually have about 30 minutes per song. They've started to become more comfortable with me which isn't good! Its to the point that every time I have to stop the song to work on a few parts, what do you think is the very first thing they do? A) Listen intently to what I'm about to say? B) Explain why we stopped? C) Ask me to please go over their part? or D) Turn to their neighbor and talk! Grrrrrrrr. Its obviously D because they are stupid teenagers!!! Minus a couple of them who really are attentive and do actually respect the learning process. I'm able to keep the group under control fairly well, but its exhausting and its not like I can hang any real threats over their heads, like a semester grade or something--its an after school play.

I have several high school students in the room to assist. They helped me out a few days ago by yelling at the kids several times to stop talking. Egah! I told the kids yesterday that they are only taking away from their own rehearsal time and when January comes around and they are on stage singing parts they still haven't learned, people will whisper to each other that they really SUCK and it will be there own [damn] fault. Then I told them I would stand up in my seat during intermission and say very loudly, "I was there to teach them, but all they wanted to do was talk to their neighbor and waste everybody's time!"

So, they cooperated after that and learned their parts. Sohailah and I agree, its fun to threaten and be mean to kids! >:-D

I came home to make dinner and help Caleigh with her homework when Lizzy called for a ride home and to the basketball game. Agh! I asked Anika if she could grab her on her way through. She was with Beau (her beau) who offered to get her. When they pulled into the driveway, 7 girls poured out of his little jeep all with book bags and sports bags--the whole BH contingency of the volleyball team. They ALL needed a ride. Sorry BEAU!!!! I have to say that I knew in the back of my mind that was going to happen, but he's a good sport. So the girls piled into the kitchen, all hungry, but I wasn't planning on feeding them. They were grabbing snacks from the cabinet and I was telling them those were for school lunches and Terry will be mad when he finds them missing. (This, btw, is becoming an everyday occurrence). So I turned off the stove and brought them all up to the game. AND MY OH MY WHAT A GAME IT WAS!!

It was so very exciting. I clapped a lot but I refused to yell much because I knew it would ruin my voice. Meanwhile, my cronies sitting next to me were SOOOOOOOOOOOO loud!!! My right ear was ringing for the rest of the night. Holy Crap. I think its still ringing this morning. After the game I quickly rounded up my gang and we headed home. We were starving. Dinner was waiting for us. YAY. So was the gang who was meeting at our house for... the Christmas singalong rehearsal. >8-0

More kids! More rehearsing! More noise for my ringing ear! More talking every time we stopped to work on something. Someone shoot me now. I avoided going into the the family room for as long as I could. Terry had to finally come get me. I told him I won't go unless the volume level comes down. I wasn't joking either.

The girls are extremely loud in the regular talking voices, but there is also one musician who is very... young! in his musicianship, so he just has one volume--LOUD! Its always LOUD. His guitar playing--LOUD, his piano playing--LOUD, his singing--LOUD. And he doesn't stop to really listen, he just plays. And he must "tinker" on an instrument at all times. I love him dearly, but it just puts me over the edge by the time I've already had a full day of noise.

These are the nights I sleep with a clenched jaw. It can't be healthy.

My Last Few Daze

I got to spend time with my dearest friend, Sohailah, who was between tours and newly ENGAGED!!! We talked a lot about wedding plans. We also went to the girls' softball game and FROZE OUR BUTTS OFF!!!! It's soooooooo cold at the park around 6pm at this time of year. The kind of cold that cuts right through ya.

I thought I'd show ya'll her gorgeous ring.

Did I ever tell you how much Sohailah HATES having her picture taken? ;-)

Jennah played 2nd base.

Anika (strange strange creature from another planet) played shortstop.

Jolene, who has never played softball in her life, nor has she seen the game played or ever heard of it until this year, played right field. She's doing very well so far... but feels very insecure about the fact that she still doesn't understand the game.

Anika is a base stealer. She gets around the bases every time she gets on.

Jolene didn't get on base for this particular game but had contact with the ball about 6 times each time she was up to bat. Good hand-eye coordination.

Yesterday's game she got on base. Woohoo.

Anika is at it again. She's a stealer.

This was me at the train station just messing around with the camera.

I've got a lot to catch up on from the past few daze and a lot more to do today, so I must get crackalackin.

IN ONLY ONE WEEK FROM NOW BJ AND I WILL BE IN A VERY WARM SUNNY PLACE, ENJOYING THE BEACH AND THE POOL AND THE WATERFALLS AND SNORKELING AND WIND SURFING AND SAILING AND OUR HILARIOUS FRIENDS AND GOOD FOOD AND ENTERTAINMENT, etc. etc. etc. Ochos Rios here we come. Woot woot.

Some People Think its a Curse

I'm talking about the injuries that plague the Bridgehampton Basketball Team. Allow me to explain.

BHS is small. VERY small. This year its graduating senior class has a student total of... 9! NINE! Maybe its ten, but same difference. That's Nate's Class. So... the varsity basketball team, due to the smallness of the school, is made up of players from 9th-12th grade. There are only two seniors on the team (if you don't count Greg who broke his arm during the first few practices--but let me not get ahead of myself). The Killer Bees usually play against teams that are made up of 11th-12th graders and who have had all the JV playing time previous to their present-day varsity experience. We don't have a JV team. Only the 7th & 8th grade team and then straight to varsity--no cuts. Of course, the division we are in is also made up of teams from other small schools, who may also have no cuts for their teams. There aren't many schools in Suffolk County who are in our division, but we also play against other divisions... and get tromped on quite a bit.

The Killer Bees history boasts of its many, many championship years. State Champs! There are so many banners on the gym wall attesting to the fact. But it's been a while since that has happened. Kids are more diverse these days, even at Bridgehampton. They participate in a variety of sports and activities--rather than those daze when basketball was what the boyz lived, breathed, ate and slept. (And there are also video games to contend with!)

...I can only speak from my observation of the past 4 seasons, since the time Luke and Nate started playing varsity basketball. I didn't pay any attention before that point, because I was busy doing other things, I suppose. The first year Luke wanted to play on the team... it ended up that he couldn't. His back was in such pain in those preseason practices that it hurt for him to descend the stairs. I took him to a specialist and discovered that he had two fractured vertebrae. Weird! That same season, there were other injuries too--a broken hand, a broken arm, and I think someone was also on crutches. It was crazy to see the wounded and lame all riding the bench or sitting in the stands, unable to play. Not good for such a small team.

Every year seems to bring the same problem. Someone who is slated to play for the team winds up in a cast or sling. This year is no different. As I mentioned, one of the seniors broke his arm during the first week of practice. Another player, one of the starting 5, broke his ankle during a consolation game. And now, let's hope and pray that Nate is ok. During last night's game, he really hurt his back coming down from a shot and hitting the wall. He thinks something cracked. Dear God, I hope not! He complained about it a little last night. This morning he was in pain and moving quite slow (that's not so unusual in itself, but he was wincing). He wants to wait it out and see if it starts to feel better in a few daze. IDK if I'm ready to go through all that rigamarole again.

Although, Nate isn't the top scorer, he is one of the top defensive players. He plays the entire game most of the time. He has a good read of the court, and is VERY scrappy. He gets major points from the fans for being aggressive. If he can't finish out this season with the team, its not gonna be pretty--however, it may not be pretty, even if his back is fine. Oh, but I hope his back is fine!!!

SERIOUSLY???!!! Has someone cursed the Killer Bees? I think it may be the "old school" gang from yesteryear! I hear them cursing [at] the team every single game. Living in the dreams of the past and disappointed with what they see today. It's too bad they can't see it any other way. Quite frankly, I'm disgusted and disappointed to see so many of those cursing and angry fans come to the games all bleary-eyed and cooked. YAH!! I'm not even joking you. Their success is clearly "commendable" seeing where their beloved championship statuses (plural form?) got them today.

I go to the games to cheer and enjoy watching my son and his friends play. I especially enjoy chillin' with my friends, even on those awful back-breaking bleachers. When the team is struggling, I don't get all worked up about it. I don't like it, but I know that teamwork is HARD! I also feel that if they do play well, but don't get the win... they should still be able to walk away feeling at least a small sense of fulfillment.

Playing well and improving one's game is more important, in my book, than perfection or banners.

Same goes for acting, right? Tonight's dress.

Can I Blog Now?

I've been away with the youth group on a ski retreat. It was amazing!! We had a fantastic time. The kids were great fun. They were receptive and adventurous and nice to one another (which is always a plus when dealing with teens). Terry did an amazing job of putting the whole trip together. AMAZING!! I can say that most of the kids walked away with some new depth to their spiritual walks and some important things to think about.

The food was good, and the big boyz made sure to pay lots of attention to the younger boyz.

Mike not only provided an incredible gourmet meal for the fundraiser a few weeks back, but he did a fine job driving our bus, and he also shared his testimony--one that was very emotionally stirring and hugely impacting. It was about his early teen years living as a runaway on the streets and how God grabbed a hold of him. He has a book coming out in a month. I'll be sure to promote it here once it's ready to go.

While Terry and I were away, (voluntarily i.e. without pay) doing all this "youth stuff" which for me included driving the suburban behind the bus, doing two daze of hardcore skiing, teaching others how to ski, providing food, shelter, activities, advisement, and spiritual food for 30+ people for 3.5 days, etc, we had guys back at our house painting the family room (remember that patchwork wall covering??). We chose the sage color by the way and it looks fantastic! The painters also painted the bookshelf, the new slider door, the ceiling down the hall and on into the kitchen, as well as up the stairway and to the landing. Needless to say, there will be spackle dust in every nook and cranny until kingdom come. It was a BIG MESS to come home to. BLAH.

Yeah... about coming home... it just so happens that we have several youth group members who are also on the basketball team and cheerleading squad. A few months go, it didn't look like the basketball team was definitely going to make the playoffs. But as the season progressed, they started pulling out the "W" and ended up as co-champions along with Greenport. Greenport is second in state. They are pretty together as a team and have been for the past few years, whereas our team has been in the process of rebuilding. (But watch out next year)!

Anyway, playoffs just so happened to be during the vacation week, when we had our youth retreat scheduled. This meant that the four basketball players and three cheerleaders going on the retreat would need to return early for Friday's game or not go on the retreat at all. Since the retreat ended on Friday, and the drive was about 6 hours, and the kids decided to stick with the trip, this meant I was going to pile at least six of the seven into the suburban at 4:30 am to get them to the school on time where the game was being held. It was a drive from hell.

We packed the car the night before. Everyone jumped in at 4:30 am and fell right back to sleep while I drove through one of the sloppiest snow storms ever. First of all, (Nicki--don't even read this) there were no visable lines on the road for the first hour. Cars were every where in every lane, and one truck even spun off the road and into the woods only two cars ahead of me. My eyes were bugging for the whole drive. Not only did I have severe weather to contend with, I had no navigator to help with directions, I was exhausted from two days of skiing, and the kicker... I had five highway changes in a matter of 4 hours time. I-93 to I-495 to I-90 to I whatever to whatever whatever!!! It couldn't be easy could it? But after an hour the weather cleared. The highways cleared. Things looked like they were imporving, only to give way to the sunrise--which blinded me from the side!!! Not to mention work traffic. And when we got on the ferry to cross the L.I. Sound, there were 40 mph winds causing everyone to feel seasick for the next hour. Just when I remember to lay down and rest my aching eyes, we were coming into port. Oh well.

So, we made it safely to the game and plenty of time. YAY! I felt like I really sacrificed a lot just to make sure the boys and girls made it. And there were no broken bones or accidents and they had their uniforms coming with the bus. We did it! It was a good thing, too, because I had two of the starting players (one being the teams MVP). Someone A MOB would have strung me up if I didn't get them there safely. But was that good enough??? NO!!! Of course it wasn't!!! Some people felt that the kids should have been more committed to the game... and skipped the retreat. Yea... seriously!!! Why should kids need to get away for some spiritual maintenance and encouragement?? That's just stupid!! They SHOULD BE MORE COMMITTED TO THE GAME!!! It shouldn't matter that they probably couldn't have won against Greenport even if they played their best game of the year. I'm just sayin'.

People were actually mad at me (after all I did to get them there) and at "us" for taking the kids away during a vacation week... because we kept them from their "focus on the game". S-O-R-R-Y!!!! But I tend to believe that these kids have spiritual needs too, and when sports or jobs are in the picture there is never a good time for spiritual renewal or spiritual beginnings. If they get the opportunity, they should take it. But it felt like because the Killer Bees got beat by 50 points (which was how Greenport beat them in the other two games of regular season) it somehow got to be our fault for taking them away from their final two practices before the game. Yahh!

Whatever! I seem to find my way onto people's sh*t lists quite a lot these daze!

I'm just a little pissed, because... the PROFOUND disappointment that the boyz got to feel, hear and see from those they aimed to please during this playoff game, has pretty much robbed them of the joys they had gained from going on the youth trip. Why are people sometimes so narrow in their thinking about young people? Everyone thinks they should write the kids' story for them, rather than allow them to discover their journey as it unfolds. These kids are a new generation and no one is going to live vicariously through them... not their youth leaders, not their parents, not their coaches or teachers or sweethearts... not happily anyway. We should always look to encourage them to DO BIG THINGS!

(we took away all the remotes from the hotel rooms--haha)

Life

Can I just say that I am sooooo TIRED of taking pictures of students and school events and things indoors. I have lost any photography skills I may have gained from sheer practice. I'm disappointed with all my photos and utterly void of any creativity.

I took 55 pictures at the game, and the only ones I even remotely liked were these three. But still... BLAH! The lighting in the gym is not conducive to great shots with my camera--I love my camera, but there are limits.

I am looking forward to heading to the hills for a youth retreat this next week. We will be on the mountain. Maybe something will inspire me when we're there.

But enough of that.

Drama has come once again to the PTO. We are such a fine group that has a lot of fun, provides wonderful events for the kids all year long, laughs together and works well together. But there happens to be an individual who can't stand that... and can't stand us--or ME rather! And when she shows up to our meetings... "interesting" things happen. I guess some things have to get worse before they will ever get better. And this is possibly one of those scenarios. I think, at this point things have escalated to the point of "all the way worse", so maybe we will experience a swing back to recovery now... but one never knows! These things can't be predicted. Where is rock bottom?

Don't misunderstand... I'm not at rockbottom nor is the PTO. We are doing great!! It's really about this other person's rock bottom. I've been personally attacked AGAIN by her, and it's not the first time. She has personally attacked me earlier this year, maybe even more than I realize i.e. anonymous poster on my Coda blog. Anyway, I hope the attacker finds her own personal rock bottom so that there can be a change in her direction. For now... I need to find a way to let it go and move on with acceptance and forgiveness and assurance. These things take time.

And in the meantime, I can post whatever I feel like posting on my blog to help me move along.

Luke played his last regular season game. The mothers of the seniors all received a rose. Congratulations Luke. I am so glad you chose to play this year.

The Struggle

I've been on the surface for a while. I'm a social person and enjoy people of all types, but the peeps I tend to hang with the most are funny, witty people, rather than some of the other personality types. Truth be told, I have a tendency to make fun of those individuals who are just wound too tight. It's not something I'm proud of, but I just feel badly for those who take themselves too seriously. No, I like to have fun and create fun and laugh. This is who I am. Take it or leave it.

I do, however, have another side. One that has depth; one that sometimes needs to dig beyond the surface of things... digging deep into those nagging thoughts and feelings I try to ignore. When I ignore things for too long, I become depressed. Yes, the time has come for me to sort through issues that have been bothering me. I need to figure out what God is trying to tell me. It's usually something about me... and about who He really is in my life. It's usually about heart changes.

There has been a struggle going on inside of me. I've not visited those deeper places for a while. I have created roadblocks of resistence to God. He's been asking to venture together into those places. And I've found distractions that would excuse myself from His request; in order to keep Him from working in me. I'm just being honest. Of course, He knows me so well, that he woos me and convinces me that I can trust Him. He assures me that He will bring me to a better place. I will become more of who I've been created to be.

So... this vulnerable post is what I chose to write rather than telling all about last night's game, and how exciting the game was... and how we won in a great competiton with a Rival team on the rival court...

...but how disappointed I was with what felt to me like utterly poor sportsmanship (not on the part of the bball team either) ...or how my ears literally hurt from the cheerleaders, who were as rude and loud as possible, cheering at full volume for the entire game, not because they were excited, NOT because they were enthusiastic about winning. Nope. It was all because they were "put-out" and offended by the opposing cheerleaders when asked to try not to do sideline cheers at the same time... saying it wasn't proper cheerleading etiquette. I basically said that I agreed that it was better not to do the cheers at the same times, when you can help it. Yea...I chose NOT to write about how terribly distracting it was to me as a fan... and how I wished that someone would've explained to our cheerleaders, that it's not about them! That they, as cheerleaders, are there for the players... and for the fans. They are there to encouraging the team as they play, not to pull attention away from the game. But that's a whole different topic... see how easily distracted I get?

Seriously though, I think my feelings about the game last night all tie in to my ongoing struggle... and it comes down to my philosophy about people, which I tend to get away from when I don't stay tender. As I walk with Christ and allow God full access to work in me, I suddenly have a greater love for people--one that does not come from me, it comes from above, and it overrides my own inability to love. It causes me to believe in people... well, I believe in the potential that lies within. I believe that God can break through into a person's heart. I'm not a hater, but sometimes being in the midst of those who think differently about these issues, rubs off and I get caught up, which actually feels really YUCKY on the inside!! It's just not who I am. And even when it comes to things like sports and kids... I just can't handle beating down other people whether they be opposing teammembers, fans, referees, or our own boyz (Yea, people are ruthless). I've never found it natural to assume the worst about anyone else. And I definitely don't believe that it's ok to disparage someone in order to get ahead.

But this is a difficult stand to uphold these daze--especially in the political arena!! OH LORD JESUS HELP ME!

So, I need God to take me on a journey and change my heart... and to give me direction for my future. I have to live the life I believe is true, no matter what other surrounding philosophies may be.

'Tis the Season

WOW! My house is all abuzz! The team had their first (non-league) game on Monday. You should hear these boyz and their dad talking. There are like 4 conversations all happening at once. I guess I get in there too.

Anyway, I inadvertently scheduled a PTO meeting on Monday, which was going to make it very difficult to make it to the away game in time. I was bummed. But I opened the meeting with a big "Thank you all for coming! I am so happy you are here. We have a lot to cover, but I really, really want to go to the basketball game. So please don't be offended if I speed us through this business, and let's keep our extra chatter to a minimum this time, if you don't mind." It may have come acrossed as rude, but I was honest.

Basketball is here! And it's serious!!

Did I mention that Luke is playing this year? It's his first year playing a high school sport and he's a senior. I'm so proud of him for doing it. And he is feeling pretty good about it too. I think I mentioned about Nate thinking he needed to quit basketball this year. Well... he decided to "quit" the very first day of the official season. I was very distraught, but we had some long talks and I knew something good was happening on the inside. It's a long story that doesn't need to be told here, but I do remember asking you all to pray for him. Well, after yesterday's game, Nate has come to realize that he does want to play! He's excited about it. Everyone is excited. He needs several pratices yet, before he can play in a game, but having two boys on the team and a girl on the cheerleading squad... that's just suhweet! (for my schedule). Three kids all going in one direction. And that's a first. Thank ya Jesus!

Oh. So, I was able to move that PTO mtg along, and it was a feat but we got out of there in 45 minutes. Lillian and I shot out of there like a cannon and made it to the game before half time. (YESSsssss). Luke came out just after half time. I wasn't nervous at all until then! He was totally zip, bang, boom. That boy has some springs in his feet! He runs like a cheetah! And he's extremely aggressive... which we've always known about him since birth--hahah. Anyway, I was delighted and impressed with his playing, as was Terry--and it wasn't just "the mama and the papa's love"... others mentioned him as well. (But maybe they were just trying to be nice--haha--naaah! Killer Bee fans are RUTHLESS!)

It is going to be a FUN SEASON!!! All my CLIQUE friends will be in the stands together, cheering on the team, hollering with the cheerleaders, goofing on the refs and just playing around.

It's a great time to be alive!!! Game pictures will begin after the 16th!