Wear Sunscreen...

I could watch this over and over and over. I don't know why I like it so much, but if you have about 7 minutes, take a look.

DON'T MESS WITH MOM

My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

"It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

"I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
and I sure don't have to pray.

"I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.

"And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

"Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

"Don't preach about your morals,
like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

"Mom, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
better known as C.S.D."

Of course my first instinct was
to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

"I've called and checked with C.S.D.
who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of those Nike Airs.

"I've cancelled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.


"Just save the raging appetite,
and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
to watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tires on my car.

"I also rented out your room,
you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D requires
just a roof over your head.

"Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.

"I'm selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

"Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
instead of C.S.D..?"

~MOM (Mean Old Mother)

IS YOUR TURKEY THAWING YET?

Turkey Day

by Me

The 22 lb. turkey is thawing
Terry will cook Cuban style
The family needs calling

I think I am stalling

Today, I should make myself dial.

Some of the others have already planned

To join the spouse's side for the day

With less people, less demand

Its more easily manned

But so few means no football we'll play

IT WAS A PHOTO FINISH!

The contest ran a close race. I know everyone is anxiously waiting the results. (I posted the results earlier this morning only to find that another page was lost to cyberspace--argghhh).

Allow me to express my appreciation for each and every entry! They were all simply B-E-A-U-tiful!!! We all should share our disappointment with Mitchell regarding his brilliant piece that was also lost to cyberspace (the enemy prowls around seeking whom--or what--he may devour). Thank you, Mitch, for submitting your next best piece, written through clenched jaw and gritted teeth! We understand your frustration.

So, let's get to what we've all been waiting for--THE WINNERS!!!

First Place with 70 points
"Playtime for Seniors" by Elizabeth Peele (way to go Mom)

Second Place with 60 points
"Once Upon a Time when I was Spiritual (Haikus)" by Lisa Merrill

Third Place with 57 points
"Joyous Kool Daze" by Maryann Miller

Honorable Mention with 50 points
"Song of the Homeless Stranger" by Meghan Hoch

We're still trying to decide what the prize should be for winning--maybe a nicely framed picture of me? or a handmade sculpture of an iceskater? a beautiful gold pocketbook? Oh I KNOW! A free subcription to my blog once I begin charging (hee). I'll let you know.

Special thanks to all the other contestants:

Beth Hasz ~ Ode to Karen
William Wordsworth ~ *Daffodils
Mitchell Stout ~ Dog from Hell
Maryann Miller ~ A Mealtime Prayer

*ok, ok, it was submitted by Beth--no chaneling was involved that I know of