Maybe this is the Crash

I feel like I've hit that wall I had expected to hit last  Monday after the show was over. I never really hit it then, because I had too many things I needed to handle before crashing. Now that Nate has made it to Peru and feeling good about his adventures, I can relax. It no longer requires my full attention and mental energy. He'll be away for 3 months and I'm not a big time worrier. Now that Jennah has come to the end of her ADRENALINE week and had an amazing time away at the ORU college weekend, I can rest my mind about that... and of course, take ANOTHER trip to the airport to pick her up this evening. I just "love" giving up those 5 hours of my day over and over again. (Third time to the airport in the past 10 daze. Thankfully it wasn't fifth time in the past 2 weeks, which it easily could have been, but I'm not the only one who can drive and pick up from the airport).

So, my eyes hurt today. Its been difficult to sleep well. I have this dull headache almost every day. My neck hurts. My hand still hurts from moving that heavy couch last week. The hubby is snoring a lot. There is so much going on with the kiddos--good stuff mostly, but it keeps my brain on overload. As of this past week, I have a friend on my mind who is really hurting... well actually more than one hurting friend that has been on my mind, and yet, at this particular time I have such little energy to muster in order to offer any real support. One friend in particular is in a lot of trouble with depression and it worries me quite a bit. Plus its beyond me to even know how to best be a support for this kind of mental state. I cannot fix people's problems. I don't need take on this burden that says its up to me to make it all better. Karenkool to save the day. Dah da da daaaah. However, I can love them whether their situation gets better or not. Maybe that's whats needed. Someone who will love and care for them even if nothing changes in their mental state. Usually I get frustrated or annoyed when a person can't snap out of it or immediately and be encouraged by my efforts to lift them up. I want to be the one to make it all better so I can feel so very good about myself. Anyone? Can you relate?

Actually though, I get nervous at times like these, when I truly care about a persons wellbeing and yet I am so exhausted and spent, that if I reach out with what I do have in my reserves, I just know that more is going to be expected from me. It may very well be more than what I have to offer. Maybe I am the only one expecting it from myself... to be able to give more or do more. Its like a catch twenty-two...  I want to give, but I know what is needed is way beyond me. And what if what I offer is all wrong and only makes things worse?

Why did Caleigh wake me up from my nap to ask if she could have some friends over. I really needed it. I think I will go take some emergen-C just to be sure this isn't my body, in its spent condition, fighting some virus.

Adrenaline

Let's see. This is one BIG TIME week in Jennah's senior year of high school.

First, on Monday was her volleyball team's championship play-off game for Class D title.

Second, on Tuesday was her driver's test.

Third, on Wednesday, this entailed flying the friendly skies for the first time BY HERSELF to attend a college weekend 1500 miles away, which included a very quick layover/gate change in Chicago. Oh the nerves.

Fourth, which wasn't as stressful as the other things, was staying in a dorm room with people she's never met. No sweat.

Fifth, Thursday morning was having a live interview which included writing an essay on a surprise topic in order to compete for a very important scholarship.

Sixth and Seventh, on Friday, is a piano & music theory placement exam and then auditions for the musical theatre department with a song from Thoroughly Modern Millie.

Once all of that is behind her, she may be able to enjoy the rest of her college weekend... what's left of it.

This morning, I began to feel like I should have gone out there with her to help give her the support she probably needed. But nope! She has her big girl pants on this weekend. I don't know how many other girls her age could have done what she's in the middle of!! I'm a proud mama.  So what, the volleyball team lost the championship game. They came from the very bottom last year to obtain second place in Class D against a school who has won the division for the past 13 years straight. So what, she failed her first driver's test. So do about 40% of the people who have taken it on LI for the first time. She was a bundle of nerves before she even started and just not quite ready. Please note, unlike the picture above, she did NOT hit anything or cause any accidents. LOL 

Everything else after the driver's test has gone much better, so far. The interview went well. She can breathe easy the rest of today and get ready for #6 and #7 tomorrow.

I'll keep you posted.

Talk about Schooling Somebody

(If you don't understand the reference in the title go back one post and read that first--hah).

One of my daughters has been having a difficult year in school. I've heard the words, "I want to be home schooled"several times so far. And also "our school is too small. I want to go to Pierson." Or "I'm failing chemistry... I just don't get pre-cal... I hate school." But she keeps going and keeps trying to grasp what she can. My husband has told her to work hard while keeping the next exciting thing that's coming up as the goal  i.e. Thanksgiving cruise in 25 days.  That's what he does. Whenever that next vacation comes it is WELL DESERVED and MUCH NEEDED!!! Won't be long now.

As a parent, navigating our teenager's emotional roller coaster ride can be one of the greatest challenges. Sometimes, they have a passing meltdown that just needs to be listened to, or tolerated without getting annoyed, or maybe it should even be ignored because once its over its over. Other times there is a real attack going on against their emotional health and overall well being. They need help! During those delicate times is when negative beliefs can solidify in their hearts; wrong mindsets can be established; destructive vows sometimes are made which can stick with them for years to come. These are the times to step in with some necessary tools to help them gain a clearer understanding about what's happening. They can benefit from gentle leading and will absolutely benefit from tons of prayer. There is victory for them in getting to the other side of the dessert or the mountain or the valley of despair. Sometimes they do need an advocate to step in and help fight their battle. Sometimes they want nothing to do with us.

So how do we know which is which and when to do what?

Well, I've crafted some special dice to roll, different ones for each kid, which helps me decide. HAH! Nah. I try to listen closely and I've worked hard to sharpened my intuitional skills over the years. That coupled with prayer usually keeps me tuned in to what's really going on. Although... its still a bit of a crap shoot.

I hope I'm on the right track this time. As for the school issues, this mama bear is calling for some adjustments to be made for one of her cubs. (Ooooh but you should hear papa bear--haha). I've had quite the emotional ups and downs over at the school as a parent, and if you want to know the honest truth, its been nice to distance myself from the place these past 3 years. Sending six kids all through the same super small, k-12, public school can cause a parent to run out of steam and not be quite as engaged after 10 years  7 years. However, I still have 7 more years to go before they've all graduated!! I'm only a little more than halfway through. At least the last 4 years will be only one child in the school, rather than the time when I had all six in the same building AND I was PTO secretary/president plus volunteer PR person and lots more. Its was fun for a while, but then some things broke me and I had no desire to return.

Hoping this situation works out beautifully for my girl and that she might be able to start enjoying her educational process once again. God only knows what is yet ahead.

P.S. I was invited in a group email, to a friend's house for a medium reading (that's never happened before). Hey!!! Maybe the medium can consult the dead and those souls will know what's ahead for us. HAHA kidding kidding, I'm totally not into that scene. I was quite surprised about the invitation.