I realized something about myself not so long ago. I do not enjoy doing things that I don't become good at quickly. I don't mind working on something so that I can master it. I do practice and work toward goals. But I've noticed that some people don't mind working on something and being really REALLY bad. haha. It doesn't always bother other people as much as it does me. I'm not great at tap dancing, and I haven't been working on it for long. But maybe there is potential there for me. I've been in classes with others who literally had two left feet and no rhythm. It didn't seem to bother them much and they would try and try and try. (It would get annoying to me if I were paying for the class and they held all of us back... but that's not what I'm getting at here). I can keep at it with tap, or leave it.
I perform a lot with music and acting. More recently I've been hired for playing the piano for shows and the job of vocal coach. I am not immediately brilliant. It takes a lot of work for me to feel satisfied with my personal performance. I never get it perfect and wouldn't ever call myself a perfectionist, but I want to be very good. I want to be impressive, or at the very least, not a distraction to the whole performance. Its been going pretty well and other jobs are coming my way. Today, I will get the DVDs for last weeks show that the girls performed, A Night on Broadway. I did that one voluntarily. I guess I had a vested interest. Haha. So, I'm so excited and a little scared, because its when viewing the real deal, I can see if it was as good as I felt it was when they took the final bow. I don't want to be disappointed in the end.
Something else I didn't mention, was my need for reassurance and encouragement. I've always wanted constructive feedback, especially about the tasks that I would do on a regular basis; the ones where I have the opportunity to improve. For the one-time things, or one-weekend-only events, its usually better to only give the positive feedback. In most cases I already know full well about what hasn't gone well. I'm a bit of a critic when it comes to my own stuff. Sometimes, when I see someone performing who isn't really so good, and yet they are oblivious, I wonder if that's what I'm like when I perform: oblivious to how bad it is, thinking I am rather good. That's when I turn to my husband to find out. I know that's kind of asking if "these jeans make me look fat," but he's usually willing to give to the risk and give me a fair assessment. Almost always he laughs (like NO WAY) when I ask if I sound like "that person" when I'm performing. So I am a harsh critic like that new Dove experiment that's been going around the internet.
Let me discuss gardening! Here is something I don't enjoy because I can't seem to figure out how to do it well. We have a beautiful perennial garden and lovely plantings, but as much as I try, things just keep making the garden be less and less lovely every year. Last year it was voles eating the roots. The year before it was an invasion of violets. The year before it was allowing ragweed to grow, thinking it was one of my plants. I've tried diving up some of the plants that are getting too big, but I don't know that I did a very good job. Now I have a puppy who is digging and playing and rolling in the gardens, plus what I think is a new invasive weed. Ayi yi yi. I will keep trying, but I don't enjoy it, mainly because I'm bad at it.
So that's all I wanted to say.
What kind of person are you? Someone who's good at everything you do (because you avoid the things you aren't good at)? Do you like trying new things and struggling through them, even if you never master the skills? Are you the person who is willing to work even for years on something, just because you don't like to give up? Or someone who likes to hide away, apart from the public eye, taking care of your own home and not taking risks? Its all good. We are who He's created us to be.
Friday, April 19
Wednesday, April 17
Kool Fireside Chat
Some people find a fireside to be a wonderful place to relax. We don't build too many fires in our fireplace through the winter, but we do in the summer at the outdoor firepit. Its not quite summertime yet, but the firepit has been used throughout the winter (not by me... not once).
Lizzy had some friends over a few weeks ago for s'mores around the fire and then a movie on the trampoline. Aaah good times in the cold night air. So they each had their own blanket, some from the attic and closets, and a few from the wicker basket. I had about 13 blankets to wash because they all smelled like a bon fire and were dragged through the dirt and woods. NICE!!
About a week later, the trampoline gave way to a huge rip right down the middle. Thankfully no one was hurt. The winter was brutal on that old thing. Now its been dismantled and on its way to the dump. (Did I mention that one set of legs completely broke off a few days after that?) DANGEROUS!
Now that the trampoline is gone we have a wonderful new area of the yard to use. So, Luke decided to move the brick firepit over to the nice, level, cleared spot... a place where there are less spiders and creepy crawlers to worry about because it gets more sunlight during the day. And the neighbor boys did a fine job of clearing all the leaves out. Next thing Luke decided was to purchase a yard wagon that could also be pulled behind his quad. His new toy. He's been gathering firewood from the woods, wouldn't you know. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck...?
I'm really looking forward to this summer. There is still a lot of work to do around here in preparation, which I'm not necessarily looking forward to. This weekend we will be getting a load of mulch, and when I say "a load"... HOLY MACKEREL!!! Hopefully, the neighbor boyz will be by for some more money-making, back-breaking work. Last year its was just Terry, Caleigh, and me along with my parents (who are in the mid 70s but very strong and spry) spreading that stuff throughout. It was a HUGE amount of work!!!
The pool won't be open until mid-June most likely. It doesn't get warm enough here to swim until about then. However, Peppermint begs to differ. She is already taking full baths in the water, She runs out on the cover and as it dips down into the water the rolls around like a bird. The she runs to the perennials and rolls in the grass and dirt to dry off. DOGGIE DOOR FLAP IN PLACE!
Anika is finishing up her first year of college this week and coming home on Tuesday. Let the fighting over the king-size bed begin. She and Lizzy adore each other, but not when it comes to the bed territory. If it weren't for "Messy Jess" aka LIZZY, covering the bed with every piece of electronics and clothing and bags and shoes from her closet, it would be big enough to sleep all four of the girls, so I don't know what they are arguing about. But they will have to fight it out. Anika has landed a great nanny job for the summer which may even bring her to Canada and other places of travel. Woohoo. Also, Jolene is coming in July, so we have some rearranging of bedrooms to do before then.
Finally, the artwork has been hung!! HOORAY!!! Its a major accomplishment. We purchased several pieces at the auction on our cruise to Bermuda last year, but it took forever to get them up on the wall. I was able to get one up in the bathroom once that reno was done. (Its actually my favorite one). But then we had to paint the family room with an accent wall before hanging the others. I like the one orange wall against the paintings. Its pretty cool. We just need to get the other three walls in the room changed from the light green to a cream-white. That wasn't all though. There were three more paintings that needed to be hung. We put them up in the kitchen, in place of our wonderful, but 5 years outdated, family pictures. I will say, the kitchen walls REALLY need painting. Once all of that happens I will be happy. Nah. I'm happy anyway. But you know what I mean.
P.S. Lots of prayers are being made for baby Beckham who has had his second successful open heart surgery since his early birth in December. He has a journey ahead of him yet, but its been a beautiful story so far. I'm also praying for a friend who has had a recent and unexpected loss which is very sad, but I believe God will bring joy in the morning. And in addition, another dear friend, Melanie, would love prayer for her father, John, who was just diagnosed this week with stage 4 liver cancer. We believe it can be beat. Nothing is impossible with God!! For all you prayer warriors, please lift these requests to the Lord.
Lizzy had some friends over a few weeks ago for s'mores around the fire and then a movie on the trampoline. Aaah good times in the cold night air. So they each had their own blanket, some from the attic and closets, and a few from the wicker basket. I had about 13 blankets to wash because they all smelled like a bon fire and were dragged through the dirt and woods. NICE!!
About a week later, the trampoline gave way to a huge rip right down the middle. Thankfully no one was hurt. The winter was brutal on that old thing. Now its been dismantled and on its way to the dump. (Did I mention that one set of legs completely broke off a few days after that?) DANGEROUS!
Now that the trampoline is gone we have a wonderful new area of the yard to use. So, Luke decided to move the brick firepit over to the nice, level, cleared spot... a place where there are less spiders and creepy crawlers to worry about because it gets more sunlight during the day. And the neighbor boys did a fine job of clearing all the leaves out. Next thing Luke decided was to purchase a yard wagon that could also be pulled behind his quad. His new toy. He's been gathering firewood from the woods, wouldn't you know. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck...?
I'm really looking forward to this summer. There is still a lot of work to do around here in preparation, which I'm not necessarily looking forward to. This weekend we will be getting a load of mulch, and when I say "a load"... HOLY MACKEREL!!! Hopefully, the neighbor boyz will be by for some more money-making, back-breaking work. Last year its was just Terry, Caleigh, and me along with my parents (who are in the mid 70s but very strong and spry) spreading that stuff throughout. It was a HUGE amount of work!!!
The pool won't be open until mid-June most likely. It doesn't get warm enough here to swim until about then. However, Peppermint begs to differ. She is already taking full baths in the water, She runs out on the cover and as it dips down into the water the rolls around like a bird. The she runs to the perennials and rolls in the grass and dirt to dry off. DOGGIE DOOR FLAP IN PLACE!
Anika is finishing up her first year of college this week and coming home on Tuesday. Let the fighting over the king-size bed begin. She and Lizzy adore each other, but not when it comes to the bed territory. If it weren't for "Messy Jess" aka LIZZY, covering the bed with every piece of electronics and clothing and bags and shoes from her closet, it would be big enough to sleep all four of the girls, so I don't know what they are arguing about. But they will have to fight it out. Anika has landed a great nanny job for the summer which may even bring her to Canada and other places of travel. Woohoo. Also, Jolene is coming in July, so we have some rearranging of bedrooms to do before then.
Finally, the artwork has been hung!! HOORAY!!! Its a major accomplishment. We purchased several pieces at the auction on our cruise to Bermuda last year, but it took forever to get them up on the wall. I was able to get one up in the bathroom once that reno was done. (Its actually my favorite one). But then we had to paint the family room with an accent wall before hanging the others. I like the one orange wall against the paintings. Its pretty cool. We just need to get the other three walls in the room changed from the light green to a cream-white. That wasn't all though. There were three more paintings that needed to be hung. We put them up in the kitchen, in place of our wonderful, but 5 years outdated, family pictures. I will say, the kitchen walls REALLY need painting. Once all of that happens I will be happy. Nah. I'm happy anyway. But you know what I mean.
P.S. Lots of prayers are being made for baby Beckham who has had his second successful open heart surgery since his early birth in December. He has a journey ahead of him yet, but its been a beautiful story so far. I'm also praying for a friend who has had a recent and unexpected loss which is very sad, but I believe God will bring joy in the morning. And in addition, another dear friend, Melanie, would love prayer for her father, John, who was just diagnosed this week with stage 4 liver cancer. We believe it can be beat. Nothing is impossible with God!! For all you prayer warriors, please lift these requests to the Lord.
Sunday, April 14
Ahhh Theatre! AGHHHH!
Why do I love it?
Why do I hate it?
Am I going through the post-show blues? I wasn't even the one on stage this time. What is wrong with me?
So this past Thursday and Friday my girls, Jennah and Lizzy, were in a show with two other girls, India and Jennah. The entire cast was made up of just the four of them. It was called A Night on Broadway: a musical review (which I know should be "REVUE" but the director made the posters and the program, etc. so I went with her spelling). It was our high school's first musical production, at least as far back as we know of. The school is 100 years old, so it could have had a musical production at some point along the way--dear God, I hope so. But anyway, my girls were a part of the ground breaking event which brought a musical production to the stage (which in fact, doubles as a work-out space) in this present decade. Even Caleigh was a vital part of the show. She was the lighting tech. Yup! As a fifth grader, she ran the light board for all three performances, And I was a big part of it as well as the accompanist for rehearsals and for the show.
Paula and I had been planning to get something kicked off at Bridgehampton for the last couple of years. She had been trying for even longer. We had talked about it many times. Paula is the one who directs the middle and high school shows for the school in the next town over. She is the pushy one. ;-) I didn't feel completely sure about how much energy I could exert for the project, but I was willing to follow her lead. The chorus teacher was especially key in having everything go forward. We all did our part to make it happen. And guess what! The production got off the ground, and it actually happened. It REALLY happened!! YAAAAAY! A dream come true. And IT WAS VERY GOOD!!!
OK. Let me give you the run down of what they sang:
There was singing and also dancing. Lovely dancing. Ballet dancing, even. And great acting. The script was original, written by Paula, which connected the songs in a cohesive story line, about the 4 girls trying to put on a show for the first time at their school. Clever right?!
Anyway, it went very well. It was really really good and I'm not just saying that. I'm actually a rather critical judge of performances, especially my own. But this was one to make me proud. And everyone who saw it LOVED IT! Such rave responses.
So. what's the matter with me? Well, I'll tell you. I was the one who went to town promoting the show, trying to get people to come out, before I really knew if it would be good or not. (That's showbiz). And it was a decent turn out for sure--for Bridgehampton. And it only cost $5, so anyone could come. Even those who didn't have money, because they weren't turned away at the door. But there were several people who just didn't make the effort to come. The ones who could have, but they just didn't. I had quite a few come up to me today at church and apologize that they didn't make it, but they just didn't... come. One actually said that she didn't have any money, along with several more excuses that made it all seem a bit like excuses. These were people who said they were going to "try" to come. I had another dear friend tell me she didn't come because the event on facebook I had posted said that the beginning time was 7 and end time was 10. She thought it was going to be 3 hours long and she wasn't about to sit through three hours. AGH! I asked why she didn't call me to find out if that was a mistake, because 3 hours would not have been reasonable. (It was ONE HOUR LONG--only one). None of the extended family bothered to come. Several of the friends from other schools said they were coming and didn't. Many of the Bridgehampton teachers, which I would have expected to make a special effort, didn't. And only one of the youth group kids came. I mean... come on!!!! These are your good friends, your favorite and top students, your family. What the heck?
I have been trying and trying not to let it bother me. But I am bothered. Mostly, because those who didn't come, really really missed it. This one was one to be seen, and they missed it, and they won't get another chance to see it. And these girls are young and they were AWESOME. And now those individuals won't get the chance to show their support, because it just wasn't important enough to them.
Now I've said it. Now its done. And now (hopefully) I can move on. I will try to always be mindful to be that supportive person--to my family and friends as much as I can, because I know how meaningful it is. And I hate when I just don't follow through with my good intentions, based on being unmotivated at the moment. Today, I followed through and saw my friends in their performance of Peter Pan. And I was glad I did. I didn't feel like going on a Sunday afternoon. But I just got out the door and made the effort anyway. I spent the $25. And they were great.
Enough said. Enough said. I'll try to be forgiving and full of grace and not be annoyed about the particular people who I thought should have wanted to be there, but decided it wasn't important enough to support the girls in their big debut. (I'm not talking about those who COULDN'T be there in case you are reading this). I'm trying not to be judgmental. Its none of my business what other people have to do and not do.
Yes. I must let it go.
I can't wait to get the DVD next week. I didn't get to ever really watch them perform their songs, because I was playing the piano.
Why do I hate it?
Am I going through the post-show blues? I wasn't even the one on stage this time. What is wrong with me?
So this past Thursday and Friday my girls, Jennah and Lizzy, were in a show with two other girls, India and Jennah. The entire cast was made up of just the four of them. It was called A Night on Broadway: a musical review (which I know should be "REVUE" but the director made the posters and the program, etc. so I went with her spelling). It was our high school's first musical production, at least as far back as we know of. The school is 100 years old, so it could have had a musical production at some point along the way--dear God, I hope so. But anyway, my girls were a part of the ground breaking event which brought a musical production to the stage (which in fact, doubles as a work-out space) in this present decade. Even Caleigh was a vital part of the show. She was the lighting tech. Yup! As a fifth grader, she ran the light board for all three performances, And I was a big part of it as well as the accompanist for rehearsals and for the show.
Paula and I had been planning to get something kicked off at Bridgehampton for the last couple of years. She had been trying for even longer. We had talked about it many times. Paula is the one who directs the middle and high school shows for the school in the next town over. She is the pushy one. ;-) I didn't feel completely sure about how much energy I could exert for the project, but I was willing to follow her lead. The chorus teacher was especially key in having everything go forward. We all did our part to make it happen. And guess what! The production got off the ground, and it actually happened. It REALLY happened!! YAAAAAY! A dream come true. And IT WAS VERY GOOD!!!
OK. Let me give you the run down of what they sang:
Untitled Opening Number... [Title of Show] -- Company
There's No Business Like Show Business... Annie Get Your Gun -- India Hemby
Sing!... A Chorus Line -- Laura Uribe and Lizzy Hochstedler
At the Ballet... A Chorus Line -- Company
Popular... Wicked -- Jennah Hochstedler
What is this Feeling... Wicked--Jennah Hochstedler and India Hemby
Anything You Can Do... Annie Get Your Gun -- Lizzy and Jennah Hochstedler
Memory... Cats -- India Hemby
Till There Was You... The Music Man -- Lizzy Hochstedler
Matchmaker... Fiddler on the Roof -- India, Jennah and Lizzy
Seasons of Love... Rent -- Company
Finale... [Title of Show] -- Company
There was singing and also dancing. Lovely dancing. Ballet dancing, even. And great acting. The script was original, written by Paula, which connected the songs in a cohesive story line, about the 4 girls trying to put on a show for the first time at their school. Clever right?!
Anyway, it went very well. It was really really good and I'm not just saying that. I'm actually a rather critical judge of performances, especially my own. But this was one to make me proud. And everyone who saw it LOVED IT! Such rave responses.
So. what's the matter with me? Well, I'll tell you. I was the one who went to town promoting the show, trying to get people to come out, before I really knew if it would be good or not. (That's showbiz). And it was a decent turn out for sure--for Bridgehampton. And it only cost $5, so anyone could come. Even those who didn't have money, because they weren't turned away at the door. But there were several people who just didn't make the effort to come. The ones who could have, but they just didn't. I had quite a few come up to me today at church and apologize that they didn't make it, but they just didn't... come. One actually said that she didn't have any money, along with several more excuses that made it all seem a bit like excuses. These were people who said they were going to "try" to come. I had another dear friend tell me she didn't come because the event on facebook I had posted said that the beginning time was 7 and end time was 10. She thought it was going to be 3 hours long and she wasn't about to sit through three hours. AGH! I asked why she didn't call me to find out if that was a mistake, because 3 hours would not have been reasonable. (It was ONE HOUR LONG--only one). None of the extended family bothered to come. Several of the friends from other schools said they were coming and didn't. Many of the Bridgehampton teachers, which I would have expected to make a special effort, didn't. And only one of the youth group kids came. I mean... come on!!!! These are your good friends, your favorite and top students, your family. What the heck?
I have been trying and trying not to let it bother me. But I am bothered. Mostly, because those who didn't come, really really missed it. This one was one to be seen, and they missed it, and they won't get another chance to see it. And these girls are young and they were AWESOME. And now those individuals won't get the chance to show their support, because it just wasn't important enough to them.
Now I've said it. Now its done. And now (hopefully) I can move on. I will try to always be mindful to be that supportive person--to my family and friends as much as I can, because I know how meaningful it is. And I hate when I just don't follow through with my good intentions, based on being unmotivated at the moment. Today, I followed through and saw my friends in their performance of Peter Pan. And I was glad I did. I didn't feel like going on a Sunday afternoon. But I just got out the door and made the effort anyway. I spent the $25. And they were great.
Enough said. Enough said. I'll try to be forgiving and full of grace and not be annoyed about the particular people who I thought should have wanted to be there, but decided it wasn't important enough to support the girls in their big debut. (I'm not talking about those who COULDN'T be there in case you are reading this). I'm trying not to be judgmental. Its none of my business what other people have to do and not do.
Yes. I must let it go.
I can't wait to get the DVD next week. I didn't get to ever really watch them perform their songs, because I was playing the piano.
Thursday, April 4
Honey Do List: only its for me more than Honey
 |
| I'd rather give myself a lobotomy than to do some of these things. |
I'm still going through pictures stored on my computer, putting the "keepers" on discs so I can remove them from the mac, and trashing the extras. I've taken so many, many pics of other people's children!!! Their parents have received them, they've gone in the yearbooks, some have gone in the newspaper, etc., so why do I still have these images from 3 and 4 (and 5) years ago. Bye bye.
I miss blogging with images. I miss taking pictures. But I suppose I'm holding off on the picture-taking at least until I finish these organizational projects. I'm making room for the new. LOBOTOMY?
There is a huge pile of household items sitting in my family/living room in which a moving company will be coming to pack up and move (for a client). Once that happens, I'm hoping to have the other three walls in the room painted a nice, soft, light color to offset the bold orange accent wall that we had painted a few weeks ago. Once that happens, we will finally hang the artwork that has been waiting to go on the walls. And once I've taken care of my computer filing projects, I will take some photos and post them. See how everything that needs to be done relies on the other things being done first? Vicious cycle. LOBOTOMY!!
More like... random.
Oh, did I mention that I REALLY need to organize my music--Seriously!! MAJOR NEED FOR LOBOTOMY!!!!
Monday, April 1
The Adventures of Karenkool
I have not had much time to blog this month. Did you miss me? Yea, I thought so. Hahaha.
So many opportunities have come along for me lately, which have been really inspiring for my creative side. I'm sure I've mentioned before, how I've grown up with this attitude of downplaying my accomplishments; acting like my performances and what not are just a normal everyday thing and no big deal. There are many reasons for that, but it probably all goes back to my former "people pleaser" tendencies. I would downplay things I really needed to be cheered for because I didn't want people not to like me for shining too brightly. But really, I have a personality the needs to be applauded and encouraged and told when I've done something good or pleasing. Its just how I was wired.
You can definitely say I've never really been a prima dona--a diva. Divas wouldn't care less who likes them or not. They are all about being the "biggest thing going" for miles around. But I'm the opposite. I'm usually concerned that everyone around me feels special and comfortable and paid attention, too. However, I do also like to be in the center of the action helping to create the fun. I do like getting the credit for something I've done. Its really hard for me when someone else gets praised for something I was responsible for, but I wouldn't usually say anything. Its a fine balancing act.
Anyway... are you wondering what I've been doing? Over the past couple months, in addition to my regular work from the home, I was accompanying for an 8-week vocal class for young teens. It really wasn't a big deal. I wasn't leading the class and didn't have much opportunity for input, because the teacher was in charge and knew what she wanted. I don't think she noticed whether I had any real talent, until the performance. She was rather impressed with my musicality and skill at the piano (and I know this because she told me--about the musicality part, not that she didn't notice anything before). Anyway, she asked if I would be able to teach a musical theater class over the spring break because she couldn't do it this year. And yes, I would be able and that's what I did all this last week.
The class was for 8-12 yr olds and I co-taught it with a personal friend, who had already taught the camp several times. I followed her lead and added my expertise to the picture as I saw where I had things to contribute. We had great fun together. She lead most of the theater games. I had a few games that went over ok, but not really. They were meant for developing skills more, but I guess would have worked for the older age group. We mostly had the younger end. Anyway, we had a nice balance going between us. I was "music" and "keeping order", she was "dance" and "hug magnet". We shared the other stuff. And I was really excited about writing the script. On the first day, we took down stories from the kids about friendship and also found out what talents they may want to share and I went home and incorporated all of it into a show. Bethany helped edit lines and other details. I was feeling pretty good about what I was able to develop in one night. It left us only 4 days to teach the kids. The performance was also on the 4th day. And you know what? They did it. They pulled it off and it was awesome. We had a company number at the beginning, a company dance at the end and several scenes that all connected with poetry, and musical or dance talents... and voila. I also made programs for the show and awards for us to give to each of the kids. My co-teacher had karaoke songs for the pop stuff, taught the dancing and staged the company numbers while I accompanied on the piano. She picked up cupcakes and well... we rocked it!! The parents LOVED it. The kids LOVED it. The person who hired me for the camp (who also had a child in the camp) LOVED it. So, I'm sharing with you my sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. Thank you. Thank you very much. :-)
I have felt really good lately about some other things, too. I've done a few deep cleaning projects in the house where no one else has really noticed, but its made me happy. My cooking has been really good since my husband realized that I needed to also be recognized as a cook in the home, not just him. And my kids have been so complimentary, which is nice. I had two short days to prepare a very difficult song from Handel's Messiah for the Easter service. I had never sung the solo before so it was a risk, but they loved it. Next time I would definitely want to work for a few weeks on it to feel completely satisfied. But I was happy that I leaped over the edge on that one, rather than staying in my comfy place.
I was a little grumpy yesterday, which may have had a little to do with finding the puppy laying on the kitchen table when I got home from church and seeing my house in a disastrous mess when we had people coming over for Easter dinner. (That's what a week away from the home will do). But mostly I have been happy and feeling good. I've come out of the slump--weeks of depression--which was no fun at all. And I thank you, Jesus, for rescuing me and using others to throw me a lifeline. I need people, and I need to feel the love of God through those around me, too. How about you?
So many opportunities have come along for me lately, which have been really inspiring for my creative side. I'm sure I've mentioned before, how I've grown up with this attitude of downplaying my accomplishments; acting like my performances and what not are just a normal everyday thing and no big deal. There are many reasons for that, but it probably all goes back to my former "people pleaser" tendencies. I would downplay things I really needed to be cheered for because I didn't want people not to like me for shining too brightly. But really, I have a personality the needs to be applauded and encouraged and told when I've done something good or pleasing. Its just how I was wired.
You can definitely say I've never really been a prima dona--a diva. Divas wouldn't care less who likes them or not. They are all about being the "biggest thing going" for miles around. But I'm the opposite. I'm usually concerned that everyone around me feels special and comfortable and paid attention, too. However, I do also like to be in the center of the action helping to create the fun. I do like getting the credit for something I've done. Its really hard for me when someone else gets praised for something I was responsible for, but I wouldn't usually say anything. Its a fine balancing act.
Anyway... are you wondering what I've been doing? Over the past couple months, in addition to my regular work from the home, I was accompanying for an 8-week vocal class for young teens. It really wasn't a big deal. I wasn't leading the class and didn't have much opportunity for input, because the teacher was in charge and knew what she wanted. I don't think she noticed whether I had any real talent, until the performance. She was rather impressed with my musicality and skill at the piano (and I know this because she told me--about the musicality part, not that she didn't notice anything before). Anyway, she asked if I would be able to teach a musical theater class over the spring break because she couldn't do it this year. And yes, I would be able and that's what I did all this last week.
The class was for 8-12 yr olds and I co-taught it with a personal friend, who had already taught the camp several times. I followed her lead and added my expertise to the picture as I saw where I had things to contribute. We had great fun together. She lead most of the theater games. I had a few games that went over ok, but not really. They were meant for developing skills more, but I guess would have worked for the older age group. We mostly had the younger end. Anyway, we had a nice balance going between us. I was "music" and "keeping order", she was "dance" and "hug magnet". We shared the other stuff. And I was really excited about writing the script. On the first day, we took down stories from the kids about friendship and also found out what talents they may want to share and I went home and incorporated all of it into a show. Bethany helped edit lines and other details. I was feeling pretty good about what I was able to develop in one night. It left us only 4 days to teach the kids. The performance was also on the 4th day. And you know what? They did it. They pulled it off and it was awesome. We had a company number at the beginning, a company dance at the end and several scenes that all connected with poetry, and musical or dance talents... and voila. I also made programs for the show and awards for us to give to each of the kids. My co-teacher had karaoke songs for the pop stuff, taught the dancing and staged the company numbers while I accompanied on the piano. She picked up cupcakes and well... we rocked it!! The parents LOVED it. The kids LOVED it. The person who hired me for the camp (who also had a child in the camp) LOVED it. So, I'm sharing with you my sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. Thank you. Thank you very much. :-)
I have felt really good lately about some other things, too. I've done a few deep cleaning projects in the house where no one else has really noticed, but its made me happy. My cooking has been really good since my husband realized that I needed to also be recognized as a cook in the home, not just him. And my kids have been so complimentary, which is nice. I had two short days to prepare a very difficult song from Handel's Messiah for the Easter service. I had never sung the solo before so it was a risk, but they loved it. Next time I would definitely want to work for a few weeks on it to feel completely satisfied. But I was happy that I leaped over the edge on that one, rather than staying in my comfy place.
I was a little grumpy yesterday, which may have had a little to do with finding the puppy laying on the kitchen table when I got home from church and seeing my house in a disastrous mess when we had people coming over for Easter dinner. (That's what a week away from the home will do). But mostly I have been happy and feeling good. I've come out of the slump--weeks of depression--which was no fun at all. And I thank you, Jesus, for rescuing me and using others to throw me a lifeline. I need people, and I need to feel the love of God through those around me, too. How about you?
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