What Motivates You?

I am feeling a bit unmotivated, since this past week or so. Ever have those times? You're cooking along and finding success and joy in the work and suddenly everything shifts. I've talked about how this happens for me in my line of theater work. I'm still busy with two new productions,  and usually when I'm moving at a fast pace I stay pretty motivated, but for some unknown (and other known) reasons, I'm struggling to turn it on full throttle. Actually, no. That's not completely true. I launched in full throttle to both productions. I've laboring to prepare and organize, excited to work on the next new thing.

So, why have I started to find my motivation being sucked out of me? Let's think about it. Maybe you can make your own list when you find yourself struggling.

What motivates me...

Working with and teaching people (of any age) who are genuinely eager to focus on a task together.

Being with people who take what I give and give something back in return. But equally in the reverse order: being with people who give me something, which I receive, and in return take what I give. The give-and-take relationship motivates me a lot. Its that mutual appreciation that human beings share which ranks high on my list of core values.

I love when I see people being awakened to the concept of sharing their energy. For example, while acting on stage together, and I put out my interpretation/expression of the thing I wish to communicate and then you say yes to it, giving me something back of equal value, equally energized. This happens with acting but also with music, dance, art, writing, humor, etc.

I'm also motivated by someone else's hard work and success. I get drawn in. I love to cheer people on; show my support; give my attention; acknowledge the "graduations" of life; celebrate the victories.

What robs my motivation...

Being around people who just don't care.

Being under-appreciated for my time and effort.

Being around people who act like what they are doing is a waste of time. (If its a waste of your time then don't do it, and especially don't join me in what I'm doing with that kind of attitude).

Being around people who only care about themselves, and indicate that only their own interests are important.

A lack of communication or simply being misunderstood, based on differing communication styles.

People who are super needy and allow their insecurities to come out sideways.


I'm not sure what's going on lately. I've been hit with sad news from a handful of different people in my life which weighs me down with waves of emotion. I want to help. I want to fix. I want to communicate. But I'm reduced to prayer--which is probably the best thing I could do anyway. I was recently struck by a certain "old annoyance" that sometimes rears its ugly head. That trigger-issue has to run its course, because its not something I can change. I have to deny myself the right to be angry or judgmental. If I truly want to walk in love, I have to be patient and trust God. The struggle is real.

And then, this all leaves me to wonder if the planets' alignment has been doing a number on all of us recently--haha. Maybe its just me.

Hoping for a better week and a productive month!!

Life as I Know It

I certainly don't write enough for my own good. Its been therapy and a creative outlet for me since I was a teen. But, Lord knows how many times I've gotten myself into trouble by writing what I thought needed to be read--you know, expressing my thoughts; trying to passionately prove some kind of point; wanting to encourage someone or give advice; venting frustration through humor and sarcasm (this one gets me into trouble the most). Today it just feels confusing. I have way to many thoughts and concerns flooding my mind.

My rehearsal season is going full throttle and I'm only feeling loosely connected to the people who know me best. Its been busy busy busy so I'm not getting a full "download" from my friends, nor are they getting mine. I think about all the kids I know who've gone off to college for their first year and are feeling a similar loss of connection. Everything is new and different and they are now in a position where its time to develop some new relationships. And that just doesn't happen overnight so there's a gap. And it doesn't feel completely comfortable and connected yet. Of course, once I get comfortable with my new "circle" the production suddenly comes to an end and the rug is pulled out from under all my newly developed friendships, which leaves me to try reconnecting with my tried and true friends for a brief moment, only to start all over with a new cast and new set of rehearsals. VICIOUS CYCLE!!

Anyway, my youngest of six (Caleigh) is in 9th grade now!!!!! She's not the only one left at home presently, but come winter, my two oldest boyz (Luke and Nate) will be off on their adventures, Not sure what adventure Anika will decide upon, Jennah and Liz are off at college... so it may just be Caleigh and the dogs left at home for Terry and I. WEIRD! I'm sure its good that my schedule is filled for the year.

I'm finally leaving the organist/pianist/vocalist position at the Methodist church. Its been nine years and 5 pastors. The memberships remains a solid 20 people and I'm ready to return to more of the style of worship I enjoy. One of the pastors a few years back, wanted to bring the more modern approach of music and teaching to the Methodist congregation, however, it really didn't go over very well. It was unlike anything they knew and he was rather abrupt about it. Some of the younger crowd actually loved having a modern style of music and a modern day message which challenged their walk of faith, but those other ones who have been around for years and years held on tight to certain traditions and passionately resisted the change, or at least they didn't understand it and made noise about it, so the underlining battle ensued. It wasn't pretty in the end. Ugh! So, pastor #5 has been plugging away these past 2 years, trying to help the church to grow, but I'm done! A few more Sundays to go and I will officially be out. Truth be told, its never easy for me, at any church. I've been around the block. I've seen and experienced a lot--both amazing and awful and everywhere in between. I'm not sure what I want to do next or what God wants me to do at this point. But I know that I am spiritually dry and want to return to a place of richness that I've known in my personal walk of faith. Worship through music has been a big part of my connection to God. Not sure how to get back... or discover the newness of it. But I will say this as a side note: trying to present a style of modern worship music to a group of people who are completely unaccustomed to anything besides hymns may just end up feeling like a "funeral dirge" to them. Yah, that's what someone said yesterday about their experience with it 3 years ago. I kind of felt spanked! I'm sure I'll understand it all better when I'm 80. Hopefully I will also remember how I feel about it now, at (almost) 49.

I have many other things to write about, but this is enough. I have to go practice more on the two musical scores I'm rehearsing for this fall season. First Date runs Oct 13-30 and Catch Me if You Can runs Nov 4-13. I will have six straight weeks without a SINGLE night off. I'm scared.

P.S. This is one of the views we saw back in August when we dropped Liz off to college in San Diego--Point Loma Nazarene University. This is her campus. AMAZING!

Many Tales of Wonder and Woe

Tale of Wonder:

I hadn't been walking or exercising in probably a gazillion daze until finally...

My bud, Lillian, who is a total inspiration--always--about walking and taking time everyday for your health and wellbeing, got me an amazing Christmas gift/package. She got me a jawbone wristband to track my steps and sleep, as well as some cardio kick boxing classes!!! And somehow I even ended up taking that 5.5 mile walk to the beach IN THE SNOW! I'm eager to go again and the kickboxing is the total bomb. Love it. Sore.

Tale of Woe:

This little girl, who tries ever so hard to do everything right and be pleasing and acceptable in the sight of everyone (we are working on that whole people-pleaser thing)... was handed a couple of manilla folders from a classmate the last day of school before break. She was also given a large box of items people had purchased from her for a fundraiser and she would need to deliver. It was a Christmas Luncheon the last part of the day and of course everyone was eager to get out of there. Not a lot of focused thoughts.

So she made it home with items she could have quickly handed out to teachers and been done with it. But those things had to be given to them upon their return from the holidays two weeks later. The packets that a fellow student handed to her ended up in the garbage because they didn't need to complete them after all... however, one of the folders was NOT a homework packet. It was her flute music for the upcoming Hampton's Music Educators Association Festival. She unknowingly threw it away. [GASP] She didn't even know she was selected for HMEA because the student just handed it to her and didn't say who it was from (I guess). She needed to be practicing the music all during the break because its very difficult and stretches her playing abilities greatly (which I love)! But talk about a girl in panic mode all week. She felt so embarrassed about the music that her band teacher needed to replace and get her started on. She was terrorized with great anxiety that she will have to play before a judge to determine what chair she will get for the concert, because she only has 4 daze to learn the four pieces. There is wonder in this tale as well. We have practiced and practiced and she has learned this music very quickly and been expanding her abilities greatly, only in a matter of one week's time. She sure is a go getter!!

Tale of Wonder:

We got this room painted in two daze time.

Changed the green (which I did love but not together with the accent wall) to a soft cream.

It wasn't an easy job.

But we had about 10 college kids all coming to stay at our house for a few days so we had to kick it into high gear. Voila.

Caleigh really wanted to help paint but we left her to making the signs because this needed to be done fast and top notch.

Tale of Woe:

Nope. Actually my sweater WON the ugly sweater contest. hehe $8 but 3 of those dollars were what I put in. baaahaha

Tale of Wonder:

My girls have grown way taller than their mama.

Tale of Woe:

Nope. Only a Wonder of how great my friends are..

Tale of Wonder:

Milena is going to have a baby in July!! Yippee!!!!

Tale of Woe:

Nope. They are crazy but in a wondrous way. :-D

Tales (tails) of Wonder:

All the snow came and went and the temperatures have gone up. Noah is feeling better after being on Doxy for the past 2 weeks... 2 weeks more to go (blasted tick-borne illnesses).

Peppermint can fly!

Tale of Woe:

Its tricky out there and you never know which surface is just wet with the rain and which is actually a sheet of ice. I slippity-slippy-slid right onto my backside today. But I'm ok. I'm fine.

Happy 2014!!

Kool Fireside Chat

Some people find a fireside to be a wonderful place to relax. We don't build too many fires in our fireplace through the winter, but we do in the summer at the outdoor firepit. Its not quite summertime yet, but the firepit has been used throughout the winter (not by me... not once).

Lizzy had some friends over a few weeks ago for s'mores around the fire and then a movie on the trampoline. Aaah good times in the cold night air. So they each had their own blanket, some from the attic and closets, and a few from the wicker basket. I had about 13 blankets to wash because they all smelled like a bon fire and were dragged through the dirt and woods. NICE!!

About a week later, the trampoline gave way to a huge rip right down the middle. Thankfully no one was hurt. The winter was brutal on that old thing. Now its been dismantled and on its way to the dump. (Did I mention that one set of legs completely broke off a few days after that?) DANGEROUS!

Now that the trampoline is gone we have a wonderful new area of the yard to use. So, Luke decided to move the brick firepit over to the nice, level, cleared spot... a place where there are less spiders and creepy crawlers to worry about because it gets more sunlight during the day. And the neighbor boys did a fine job of clearing all the leaves out. Next thing Luke decided was to purchase a yard wagon that could also be pulled behind his quad. His new toy. He's been gathering firewood from the woods, wouldn't you know. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck...?

I'm really looking forward to this summer. There is still a lot of work to do around here in preparation, which I'm not necessarily looking forward to. This weekend we will be getting a load of mulch, and when I say "a load"... HOLY MACKEREL!!! Hopefully, the neighbor boyz will be by for some more money-making, back-breaking work. Last year its was just Terry, Caleigh, and me along with my parents (who are in the mid 70s but very strong and spry) spreading that stuff throughout. It was a HUGE amount of work!!!

The pool won't be open until mid-June most likely. It doesn't get warm enough here to swim until about then. However, Peppermint begs to differ. She is already taking full baths in the water, She runs out on the cover and as it dips down into the water the rolls around like a bird. The she runs to the perennials and rolls in the grass and dirt to dry off. DOGGIE DOOR FLAP IN PLACE!

Anika is finishing up her first year of college this week and coming home on Tuesday. Let the fighting over the king-size bed begin. She and Lizzy adore each other, but not when it comes to the bed territory. If it weren't for "Messy Jess" aka LIZZY, covering the bed with every piece of electronics and clothing and bags and shoes from her closet, it would be big enough to sleep all four of the girls, so I don't know what they are arguing about. But they will have to fight it out. Anika has landed a great nanny job for the summer which may even bring her to Canada and other places of travel. Woohoo. Also, Jolene is coming in July, so we have some rearranging of bedrooms to do before then.

Finally, the artwork has been hung!! HOORAY!!! Its a major accomplishment. We purchased several pieces at the auction on our cruise to Bermuda last year, but it took forever to get them up on the wall. I was able to get one up in the bathroom once that reno was done.  (Its actually my favorite one). But then we had to paint the family room with an accent wall before hanging the others. I like the one orange wall against the paintings. Its pretty cool. We just need to get the other three walls in the room changed from the light green to a cream-white. That wasn't all though. There were three more paintings that needed to be hung.  We put them up in the kitchen, in place of our wonderful, but 5 years outdated, family pictures. I will say, the kitchen walls REALLY need painting. Once all of that happens I will be happy. Nah. I'm happy anyway. But you know what I mean.

P.S. Lots of prayers are being made for baby Beckham who has had his second successful open heart surgery since his early birth in December. He has a journey ahead of him yet, but its been a beautiful story so far. I'm also praying for a friend who has had a recent and unexpected loss which is very sad, but I believe God will bring joy in the morning. And in addition, another dear friend, Melanie, would love prayer for her father, John, who was just diagnosed this week with stage 4 liver cancer. We believe it can be beat. Nothing is impossible with God!! For all you prayer warriors, please lift these requests to the Lord.

Honey Do List: only its for me more than Honey

I'd rather give myself a lobotomy than to do some of these things.

I'm still going through pictures stored on my computer, putting the "keepers" on discs so I can remove them from the mac, and trashing the extras. I've taken so many, many pics of other people's children!!! Their parents have received them, they've gone in the yearbooks, some have gone in the newspaper, etc., so why do I still have these images from 3 and 4 (and 5) years ago. Bye bye.

Oh, and also... last year I got about halfway through my 2007 blog posts--making a keepsake book out of them--and "kind of" gave up. I stopped working on it right at the part when our pool was being built in the backyard. It was such an exciting time. I do plan to go back and finish the book at some point. I am also determined to delete all those posts from 2006 and 2007. That way I can start posting with pictures again. Who knew that deleting those earlier posts would take a bit of letting go? My keepsake books do not come complete with every post, or every picture, or any of the comments from my readers. [GASP] LOBOTOMY!!

I miss blogging with images. I miss taking pictures. But I suppose I'm holding off on the picture-taking at least until I finish these organizational projects. I'm making room for the new. LOBOTOMY?

There is a huge pile of household items sitting in my family/living room in which a moving company will be coming to pack up and move (for a client). Once that happens, I'm hoping to have the other three walls in the room painted a nice, soft, light color to offset the bold orange accent wall that we had painted a few weeks ago. Once that happens, we will finally hang the artwork that has been waiting to go on the walls. And once I've taken care of my computer filing projects, I will take some photos and post them. See how everything that needs to be done relies on the other things being done first? Vicious cycle.  LOBOTOMY!!

More like... random.

Oh, did I mention that I REALLY need to organize my music--Seriously!! MAJOR NEED FOR LOBOTOMY!!!!

My Top Ten of 2012

#10 My girls' performance of Anything Goes. It was a great reprieve in the midst of such a stressful time with Lizzy's surgeries and having a preliminary report of osteosarcoma.

#9 Trip to Florida in October.

#8 Our 23rd wedding anniversary getaway to NYC. Loved the sail around the harbor and the picnic in Central Park.

#7 My parents visiting this summer. They were amazing to have.

#6 Vacation Club to Costa Rica--my favorite trip so far. I wish we could have gone back this year.

#5 Anika graduating as Salutatorian of her class and making a last minute decision to attend Flagler College. She loves it there now. Phew!

#4 Dear friends finding a deeper connection with the Lord. Yay. I don't have a post to link about that but I will one day.

#3 Our newest addition to the family!! Peppermint! She has her own blog.

#2 Our newly renovated bathroom. YESSSSS!!! Peppermint blogged about the bathroom. LOL.

#1 Saying farewell to Lizzy's tumor and not having to battle cancer because the tumor was BENIGN!!! ABSOLUTE TOP OF THE LIST!!!

I wish I had a great BENIGN post to refer to but it was all on the caringbridge website, which I removed eventually after creating a book of all those posts and amazing comments. So that's that.

There are many other favorites... but I will leave it with this! HAPPY NEW YEAR OF 2013!!!

Updates

Terry sold his bike. I only rode it twice.

Luke now owns the Suburban and I drive the Mitsubishi Lancer

Did anyone know my true identity?

My parents held down the fort last time we went away to Jamaica and now we are going to Bermuda. Guess who has been suckered into holding down the fort again? (I miss Jolene).

This is my sporty car, but Anika hit a deer about 3 weeks ago and it doesn't really look so good anymore. :-(

Nate is giving private surf lessons if anyone is interested. His soft board just arrive today.

The boys in my house this summer. Aren't we lucky. Such mucho men. (HAHAH my dad... HAHAH)

Father and sons went to a great mets game together.

My pops and mom at a beach party. They're the best!

Myt poor "Burb" will never be the same.

Caleigh and I have been doing lots of things this summer. We had an adventure to a friend's farm last week and she is hoping to ride one of the ponies soon.

Its only two streets over from us.

I figured I haven't kept everything up to date. I have more pics on my camera and my phone but this will do for one post. Any questions about anything else?

What Day Is It?

I just got back yesterday evening from the city. (I wish it had been from Hawaii!!!). I was photographing a Macaroni Kid event for Family Travelers and Bloggers. It was a really kool conference, with some really helpful information. One topic that was covered in a break-out session was "How to Become a Better Writer". I didn't stay to long in that session and I'm sure she gave some very helpful tips (I wasn't there for the actual conference, but rather as photographer) but when she said to limit using exclamation points to ONE PER YEAR???!!! Yeah... well I chuckled about that.

OK. Here's the real deal. I know about business. I understand many things about becoming a great business person and starting up a company and what kinds of things are needed to become successful, but I am not inspired about business. Never have been. I had my own business teaching Musikgarten and had many other business experiences along the way. I would not say that I failed at any of my business attempts, I just realized that it was not "me". I don't enjoy the business side of things. So, in those seasons, such as when I was building my music studio via  Musikgarten, there would always come a time when I decided I didn't want to continue torturing myself, and I'd move onto what was more in my arena of inspiration. There was a time in my younger life when I had 11 piano students, was the worship leader at church and sometimes taught Sunday school, wife of the pastor, I was homeschooling two of my children, had another toddler besides the two in school, and gave birth to my forth child. I think I only took off a week from teaching piano. Those were good times, but crazy crazy crazy!

I think my issue is that I don't want to be tied down to something that I have to always labor intensively to make more palatable to the public. Sure, I'm competitive... for fun i.e. beach volleyball and pictionary and scrabble, but not so much for publicity and promotion in this other world of moneymaking. I'm not sure I even like to be around those people. LOL. My favorite times of gaining publicity was when I was doing it voluntarily. Don't get me wrong. I like to make money. I enjoy the type of work I can pick up here and there or how I'm able to make my own hours and the work is always there to be done. But I don't want to have to chase it down. I don't like that driven world of chasing clients, trying to keep the clients and promoting the brand.

So, now that its Tuesday (I think), I'm going to another conference this Friday and Saturday, and this time for me. The motivation is for spiritual enrichment. That's more my style. I'm totally looking forward to the worship times, which I miss a lot!!! I want to be enraptured in God's presence and want to be moved by His amazing love. Its personal. Not so sure I'm ready to sit in a room listening to some more people talk for several "sessions" [heavy sigh]. Not sure I want to visit another a hotel room with 3 others, hoping to be able to actually sleep. I'm fighting with myself... wondering if I'll be able to get past the attitude by the time Friday comes around. I've never enjoyed conferences... probably because I know how closely related it is to promotions and PR and moneymaking. Vicious cycle.

Maybe I Need the Massage Now

I told you about this past Friday's Fun Night for the elementary school. Here is one of the stations that was set up for the kids (and parents--haha). I felt like everyone was willing to do anything I asked them, i.e. "come get your picture taken". People who aren't normally friendly to me and probably don't like me on a regular basis, were very nice, and compassionate because of what we've been dealing with. So the whole night, I was going around taking pictures and smiling from ear to ear because I couldn't help myself. I was just happy to see Bridgehampton school doing some activities again that brought everyone together for laughs. Its been a while.

And then Saturday was kind of a "crash" day. The house needed serious cleaning (still does). Terry and I felt completely spent. I don't really even remember that day. I think I was caught in warp speed or something.

And Sunday wasn't much different. Or Monday. Or Tuesday. I've been getting things cleaned up little by little, getting some rest here and there. I knocked over the glass of water sitting on my dresser, so the dresser got cleaned up rather quickly. Its funny, because I did the same thing the following day, only this time I knocked over the water that was on my desk, so that also got cleaned up abruptly... and boy was it dusty... and covered with bills. I thought it would be ok just to throw those bills out, since they were all sopping wet. If only it worked that way.

This picture below was for the express purpose of checking on my left eye which feels like there is a sty or something. It hurts!! :(

OH! BTW, as if you haven't heard from FB or Caring Bridge, on Monday I badgered the doctor's office to find out the pathology report and they finally got back to me saying that the tumor is not cancer. Its an aneurysmal bone cyst which is BENIGN!!! Thank you, Lord!!! I actually now want the tumor to be gone and healed completely. But how relieved are we that Lizzy will not to have to go through chemo or radiation treatments. GLORY TO GOD!!!

I did the happy dance for a few daze... and have nothing left.

I'm still feeling pleased with the report, but its been exhausting to go through the whole communications ordeal again and to have conversations with everyone I see, wherever I go, a gazillion more times. I just can't keep up my energy. I'm basically numb at this point. This news is so much more wonderful than the report we had last week. Everyone is still crying, only now its happy tears. But I know that we still have this road ahead, and although I'm very relieved, there will be more stuff to plow through over the next... the next... I don't even know how long. Monday we will find out more. But my life continues to be in limbo. Its such a difficult place to be in for me. I have job offers happening and things I've had to turn down already, because I just don't know what I'm gearing up for. Its ok. I am getting around to accepting and surrendering.

As for today, I'm suppose to go clean that huge house that I tackle every now and then when the people say they are coming for the weekend. I don't know if I can muster the energy.

Anika and Jennah are in the high school production of Anything Goes which opens on Thursday. I'm totally looking forward to that. Hooray!!

Going Stir Crazy

I haven't left my house in 3 daze now because my car repairs are taking extra long at the garage. Its beginning to cost more to own this vehicle than its worth. I just needed it to pass inspection, but I really did want the issues that have been obvious problems to also get fixed... so... well, they're getting fixed. The universal joint, the tie rods, the bad sensor, the belt, the cable harness... $$ching$$ching$$... hallelujah... :-/

Oops. Its lenten season, I heard this past Sunday at church that we (or Methodists anyway) don't say "Hallelujah" until Resurrection Day. Does it count if one says it tongue-in-cheek?

For lent, I guess I've given up any extra cash we may have laying around, and any that's yet to come in over the next few weeks!! So sorry. I don't mean to be facetious.  I'm just feeling stir crazy. I need to exercise or something. I should ride my bike (Nate's bike) to the post office.

I had a list I was going to post, but now that I'm here I can't remember what it was. It had to do with parenting, I think. Or maybe it was a political statement... um... NO. Not political [throwing up in my mouth a little]. I don't know. I'm a bit brain dead. Unmotivated. [heavy sigh]. Fat. I wanna go back to Costa Rica, or at least hang out with my friends for some good times. Is there a birthday or something we can celebrate. I need a reason to clean my house.

All I've done this week is (wait! I can list these things):

1. Take care of the poor sicko girl, who finally returned to school today.

2. Laundry laundry laundry.

3. Facebook--Words with Friends (some needs to wean me off of that).

4. Read. Read. Read. (My cousin, Thomas Peele, investigative journalist out in CA, published a book called "Killing the Messenger". All I can say is WOW! I am learning heaps of stuff I didn't know about black history. Very interesting. He's a very good writer so I'm glad to be able to benefit from it.

5. Take care of the very little bit of work that I have at my home office. Probably about 2 hours total for this week, because I can't get out.

6. Write a blog post about parenting. I was honored to be asked by a college friend be a guest writer on her blog. I'll share that when it goes up. Meanwhile, take a look at her blog, 5 Things... Raising Girls in Today's World. There are lots of great stories there.

7. Ordered stuff on line (books, tap shoes, office supplies--isn't this fascinating) and I paid bills to keep things in perspective.

Oh, and check this out... Its the 160 page book I created for Lettieri Construction called Homes of Distinction.

I am pleased to say that 75 of the 100 books have already gone out to clients and architects, etc, and the feedback has been wonderful. I'm so excited and just a wee bit proud. Terry built some of these homes, too. Its just a cool thing to see in all print, and no, none of the photography is mine. So, yesterday I was asked to order 50 more. Woohoo.

Random Thoughts and Whatnot

I'm drinking a cappuccino at home. Terry got these two items,    

one from his office party

and one from me. 

The nescafe frother is sooo kool! I had to add some half-n-half to my cappuccino though, because the espresso was too strong. I'll have to work up to that boldness.

This holiday season has been fun and enjoyable... and LOOOONG! I can't believe the kids aren't back in school yet!!! Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow...

Today, I have a few kids with major hangovers. Not from alcohol, sillies!!! Just from good clean fun i.e. pulling a few all-nighters in a row. Whose idea was it to have a "youth group lock-in" at Grace Church last night after long night of celebrating the first of the new year?? Those poor girls are miserable today. HAHAHA Oh the pain. After our New Year's Eve party, I slept for most of the next day. I really did. I was miserable.

Our NYE was spent with the Clique at a castle. CRAZY CRAZY place.

 We all had tons of fun.

 Here we were getting ready for the count down.

 Good times. Good times.

But... what happens at the castle stays at the castle. LOL!!! Plus, I've sworn off tequila forever!

Caleigh has a friend over today... who's been here since yesterday. They are having fun, but we had a bit of drama close to dinnertime yesterday. They went for a walk on the trails with Noah. It was around 3:30 and they were gone for a while. Around 4:30 Caleigh came charging into my room highly upset. She couldn't find Paige. Oh Boy!! Paige did have her phone (iPhone 4) so we were able to talk to her. In fact, the reason they separated was because Paige wanted to try navigating the trails using her new phone and the two of them planned to meet back at the start of the loop, but Paige had no idea how far the loop goes around, nor did she know about all the different paths that can be taken. After about 20 minutes, she wasn't exactly sure where she was. OH BOY OH BOY! And it was getting dark. I had to work hard to calm Caleigh down... and at the same time I wasn't sure if Paige was just playing a joke on her, because its not far fetched for me to think that Paige would be joking, based on previous tricks that have been played. Anyway, she really was lost. It was high drama. She had become a bit hysterical, but we found her. Thank God for the one landmark on the trail that we know--the rusty car. Its not super close to the house, but if she was by the car we knew exactly where she was. Noah stayed with her the whole time... good dog that he is.

For my last bit of random facts... the Kool Daze 2006 book arrived just after Christmas and everyone has been reading it. I see different ones reading and chuckling, getting a kick out of the stories from 5 years ago which they've all but forgotten. Its pure joy. I've started working on Kool Daze 2007.  Its a much bigger job than 2006 with over 300 posts to weed through. I've also been putting some of the comment sections in the book--yes, your comments--because they are funny as all get out. OMG did we have some hilarious banter going on back in the day?!!

I've only gotten through January so far... its all smiles and fun. I'm a little worried, though, because I know what's coming. The tumultuous times are getting ready to erupt. At least I know how everything turned out.

I know I don't expose quite as much of my personal life now the way I used to do. I think my vulnerability coupled with the humorous quips was what people liked most about my blog in those earlier daze. But, alas, I got burned along the way from an anonymous poster, who was a rotten-to-the-core-local-person that was so spineless that they never came out and told me who they were, but sure did a vicious job of kicking me while I was down and destroying the sense of security I had felt with my bloggerville community. I have never really been able to go back to that open-book-blogger that I was. You just never know who's reading and how they are interpreting... especially when it comes to sarcasm. I obviously had pissed off someone who was secretly reading and waiting for the moment to attack. Its a sad sad life to be that kind of person, but we all know people out there who are half-cocked and searching for ways to destroy others based on jealousy.

I've enjoyed blogging for the past five plus years. Maybe I will continue for a little while longer.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Trying to Release the Stress

I'm a bit heavy laden with money matters and parenting matters and car issues and just... stuff.

Kids these daze are spoiled, are they not? I'm talking about "the generation", not YOUR kids or mine. Ok. maybe I AM talking about my kids!!! To be fair, I know that I was a bit spoiled, too, in my college years. My parents paid for my education and supported me, got me a car, and truly gave me everything I needed to get me through college comfortably, and then a wedding only 2 weeks after graduation. My parents are the BEST!!! But, keep in mind, I was the fifth child of six and they were probably in more of a financial position in their lives to do that for me, than when their first few kids were beginning to leave the nest. Plus, a few of those older siblings of mine definitely gave them a run for their money!!! NO PUN! FOR REAL! LOL.

Its very difficult for kids these daze to work those many hours to save a chunk of money, only to give every cent of it to college tuition, which covers only a fraction of the costs, so they have loans on top of it once they graduate, after being completely broke during all their college years. They have no car... have no money to get a car or insurance... and then have no job once they've completed their studies.

A common scenario lately in many family's across the country, is that the post-grad comes back home with all his debt, no money, no car, no job and becomes part of the nest again. So the parents do what they can to help him get a car, so he can actually get to his job once he has one. The kid doesn't want the $2000 car, he wants the $20,000 car. They press for him to make a budget and be smarter about his money (once he gets some), and furthermore, to get into the habit of picking up after himself! He seldom does because he got used to the college life... and its too hard to make a budget. Once he has the job, the parents ask something for rent and for the phone bill and car payments, as well as making some contribution to the family chores. He feels like he's being treated unfairly. He feels like the payments are taking all the money he's making so he can't do anything fun. He says he can't wait to leave and live on his own. He says he hates the town. Its so boring. But next thing you know he loses his job because he's the youngest one there, last one hired and has no family at home to support, so the boss doesn't feel guilty about firing him. The slow winter months have come. The jobs are few. The work is slow. There isn't any chance he can go find his own place now. He can't even pay for the upcoming loans without a job... and yet he wants to upgrade his BRAND NEW PHONE for the better brand new phone because its only $50 more?!?!?!?! WTH?

Humor break...

Hahaha. Just needed a laugh.

Wanna hear another scenario? About learning the hard way? No. No you don't. Its too UNBELIEVABLE and the kids "around the country" who fall into this category (hopefully) feel very humbled and are kicking themselves for messing things up with their foolishness, and are hoping and praying that they can regain the lost ground quickly, or catch a break somehow. The ones in the first scenario are just arrogant and prideful (insecure) and will HAVE to learn the hard way that they can't just "have it all," all the time. They will need to learn that they aren't entitled to everything without first having to work really hard for it. But how will they learn these disciplines and management skills in our present political environment? Entitlement is the BIG DEAL right now. It infuriates me.

Truth us, it doesn't have to be "learning the hard way" for this generation. They could take the incredibly wise advice of their very smart parents and learn how to budget themselves, and how to live without all the material stuff for a while. But that is unheard of, isn't it?

I just needed to verbalize some of my thoughts. I've stayed away from this kind of blogging for a long time, but lately I need to put it into words and see if anyone else out there feels any common concerns about the future of our children and our nation. The comics have nothing to do with anything really.